Thanksgiving "Kicks and Grins" Posted by Mot at TNT

Mot:  Lady: How much would you like for a tip? .....

This week has already been a lot on me and today at work I’m waiting on my tables the same as I always do.

I proceeded to check this table out and the lady asks

Lady: How much would you like for a tip?

Me: Whatever you give me is fine.

Lady: what do you need?

Me: Nothing

Man with the lady: How old are you?

Me:24

Him: you have kids?

Me: yes a son, he’s 4.

Her: if he needed anything how much would it be?

Me: He needs a lot I’m not sure( I smile and walk away)

Her: you pay all your bills?

Me: yes ma’am

Her: if you had a pay a bill today what would it be?

Me: Rent

her: How much is your rent?

Me: $375

Her: Okay I’m leaving you a $375 tip, I’m paying your rent for august.

Y’all I couldn’t do anything but cry!!! This was a blessing in disguise!

Mot: .. You Can ALways Count on me~~~

Mot....... Just Because! ~~~~~

Mot: .. How do they Do That!!!??? ~~~~

Mot: ... Sure Glad we Worked that One out! ~~~

Mot: . Thanx fur the Cat!!

Mot: ~~~~ Can't Eat --- Another.... Bite .....

Mot: .... I'll Try!! –

Mot: . Will Be Right in there at Half Time! ~~~~~

Mot: then - To everyone who loves Charlie Brown have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Humor While We Wait, and Wait, and Wait...........Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  "That's a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? .....

A guy driving a Kia pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce...

The driver of the Kia rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got Wi-Fi in your Rolls? I’ve got Wi-Fi in my Kia!"

The driver of the Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have Wi-Fi."

The driver of the Kia says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I’ve got a fridge in the back seat of my Kia!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."

The driver of the Kia says, "That’s great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Kia!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Yes, I have a television, a Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"

The driver of the Kia says, "That's a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Kia!"

Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped away. He went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered that a bed be installed in the back of the Rolls. The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up his car. The bed looked superb, complete with silk sheets and brass trim. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce.

So, the driver of the Rolls drove around all day looking for the Kia...

Finally, late that night, he finds the Kia parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. The driver of the Rolls gets out of his car and knocks on the Kia’s window. At first there is no answer, then the owner sticks his head out, soaking wet.

"I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls said arrogantly.

The driver of the Kia says... "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!"

************

Mot:  Older & wiser:

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly an Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!"

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: "Well, how was that?"

The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!"

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, "Well, how was that?

Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?"

The Airbus pilot laughs and says: "I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry."

The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important.

This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older and Smarter.

Dedicated to all my senior friends ~ it’s time to slow down and enjoy the rest of the trip.

**********

Mot:  . heeee heeeee heeee - Never Find Me - He Wont! ~~~~

Mot:  ..... one of the Golden Rules Ya Knows! ~~~

Mot: .. Starting to Get Crafty They is! ~~~~

Mot: .. Getting the Training in Early she is pre thanksgiving

Mot:  ... Cooking a Turkey is a Special Talent! ~~~

"Kicks and Grins" Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  "Watch this, a Scotsman is always cleverer than an Englishman."

An Englishman, and a Scotsman go to a pastry shop.

The Englishman whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice.

The Englishman says to the Scotsman, "You see how clever I am? I snitched 3 cookies and put them in my pocket and the baker didn't even notice." You'll never beat that!"

The Scotsman says to the Englishman, "Watch this, a Scotsman is always cleverer than an Englishman."

He says to the baker, "Give me a cookie, I can show you a magic trick!" The baker gives him the cookie which the Scotsman promptly eats.

Then he says to the baker: "Give me another cookie for my magic trick." The baker is getting suspicious but he gives the cookie to him. The Scotsman eats that one too. Then he says again: "Give me one more cookie."

The baker is getting angry now but gives him another cookie anyway. The Scotsman eats this one too.

Now the baker is really mad, and he yells: "And where is your famous magic trick?"

The Scotsman says, "Look in the Englishman's pocket"

************

Mot: Nobody dared to move, suddenly a man jumped into the………

When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a daring proposal;

-Whoever dares to jump, swim to shore and survive, I will give 1 million dollars.

Nobody dared to move, suddenly a man jumped into the water and desperately swam towards the shore while he was chased by all the crocodiles.

With great luck he arrived, taking the admiration of everyone in the place, then the owner announced;

-We have a brave winner.

After collecting their reward, the couple returned to the hotel, upon arrival, the manager told him; he was very brave to jump, then the man said;

-I didn't jump, someone pushed me!

His wife smiled ...

Moral: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman who pushes him."

Mot: Uh oh………

Mot:  I’LL LIVE WITH MY KIDS

When I'm an old man, I'll live with each kid,

And bring so much happiness just as they did.

I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.

Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!

When I'm an old man and live with my kids.

 **

I'll write on the walls with reds, whites and blues,

And I'll bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes.

I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.

I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

When I'm an old man and live with my kids.

 **

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,

I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,

I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,

And when they get angry I'll run if I'm able!

When I'm an old man and live with my kids.

 **

I'll sit close to the TV, through channels I'll click,

I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.

I'll take off my socks and throw one away,

And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!

When I'm an old man and live with my kids.

**

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,

I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.

My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,

And say with a groan, "He’s so sweet when he's sleeping!"

***********

Mot:  ... Yet Even More Hints on that Diet Thingy! ~~

"Kicks and Grins" Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about three minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and run down the corridor screaming.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room.

Then, the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room. "What in God's name is wrong with you?" he demanded. "This woman is 68 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!"

The new doctor continued to write and without looking up, asked . . "Does she still have hiccups?"

Mot: A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: 'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. ...

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman... He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate... Awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast, Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning, Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog...

Then, it was already 1 P.M. And he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework. Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher, Folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: - Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Please, let us trade back.. Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. But you'll have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night

************

Mot: . aaaahhhhhh - the Joys of Becoming more Seasoned! ~~~~

Mot: .. Sooo Glad that She Failed - Huh!!! ~~

Mot:  ... One of Those Really Awkward Moments fer Sure! ~~~~

Mot: .... Macho - Macho - Macho Man!!! ~~~~

Saturday Night "Humor While We Wait" Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  It seemed to take for ever but eventually there she was stood beside me..................

I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my wife walking down the aisle towards me.

My heart was beating so fast and the expectation was unbearable.

It seemed to take for ever but eventually there she was stood beside me.

I gave her a lovely smile and said :

"get that trolley over here they are doing three cases of Budweiser for the price of two!"

Mot:  A father of five won a large stuffed animal in a raffle.....

Most Deserving

A father of five won a large stuffed animal in a raffle.

All the way home he agonized about which child should receive the toy. When he arrived, he called the kids together.

"I have decided this gift should go to the most deserving," he said.

"Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to mommy?

Who does everything she says?" 

Five small voices cried in unison. "You do, Daddy!"

************

Mot:  WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.. You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Mot:  ~~ I Thinks its a Marital Thingy!! ~~~

Mot:  ... and Yet another ""Survival Tip"" from Mot of Course! ~~

Jay Leno Proves Cats Are Smarter Than Dogs ....  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PljWXf8KI88

Just For "Kicks and Grins" Posted by Mot at TNT

Mot:  A tourist went to Mexico and praised the local fishermen for the quality of their fish and then asked them?

How much time do you need to catch it? And the fishermen answered him in one voice:

"Not long"

He asked them: Why don't you spend more time and fish more?

The fishermen made it clear that their little catch would suffice their needs and the needs of their families!

He asked them: But what do you do in the rest of your time?

They answered:

We sleep late..

We fish a little...

We play with our children.

We eat with our wives.

And in the evening we visit our friends..

We have fun, laugh and chant some songs

The tourist interrupted:

I have an MBA from Harvard University and I can help you!

You have to start fishing for long periods every day..and then sell the extra fish for a bigger return

And buy a bigger fishing boat 00

They asked him: Then what?

He replied: With the big boat and the extra money..

You can buy a second and third boat, and so on until you have an integrated fleet of fishing vessels,

Instead of selling your catch to an intermediary, you will negotiate directly with the factories, and perhaps you will also open your own factory,

And you will be able to leave this village and move to Mexico, the capital, or Los Angeles or even New York!

From there you will be able to start your giant projects 00

The fishermen asked the tourist:

How much time will we need to achieve this?

He replied: About twenty or maybe twenty-five years 00

They asked him: What next?

He replied with a smile: When your business grows, you will speculate in stocks and win millions 00

They asked him in amazement:

Millions? Oh really ?

And what will we do after that?

He replied: Then you can retire

And live quietly in a village on the coast, sleep late..

You play with your children.

And you eat with your wives.

And spend the nights enjoying with friends

The fishermen answered

With all due respect and appreciation

But that's exactly what we're doing now,

So, what is the logic for which we waste twenty-five years of misery?

************

Mot: This a conversation between a man and his wife. Please note that she asks five or six questions which he answers quite simply, but then she is speechless after answering only one question. I bet this happens more often than not to most husbands out there.

Woman:Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes.
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about three.
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00, which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary).
Woman: And how long have youbeen drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose.
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5,400. Correct?
Man: Correct.
Woman: If in one year you spend $5,400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000. Correct?
Man:  Correct.
Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought an airplane?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman:  No.
Man:  So where's your airplane?

Mot:  .... Ya Know Its Great When its the ""S"" Word! ~~~

Mot:  ... Amazing How That Works! - HUH!! ~~~~

Mot: ..... Gotta Love Karma fer Sure!! ~~~~

"Humor While We Wait" From Recaps Archives

The Difference Between Man and Woman!

Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of.

A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women.

RV Currency Holders:  WATCHING AND WAITING ~ PHINEAS AND FERB

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gpx5u1Ua-ZM

Okay PTB listen to this song and LET IT GO....Pull that trigger~!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU&feature=youtu.be

"Daylight Savings Time" Humor While We Wait Posted by Mot At TNT

Mot: .... Don't Forget!! ~~~~~FAll Back

Mot: .. Mots Special Guide fer Tonight! ~~

Mot: ... YES! - Just Pick One - K!!!! ~~~~

Mot: ~~ Soooooooo - What is Sunday??? ~~~

Mot:  .. Making it Longer by! ~~~ HUH??? 

Mot:  ... Getting Ready They Is!!! ~~~~

Mot:  . Once Again!! -- Support Groups Will be Popping Up all over! ~~~  DST lose an hour

Mot: ~~ Get REady!!! ~~~~~

Mot:  ..... Sure Hope this Doesn't Get Messed Up Ya Knows! ~~~~

Mot:  ..... Tah Dah!! -- This Coming Monday ~~~~

Friday Night "Humor While We Wait" Posted by Mot at TNT

Mot:  “From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.”

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor”

“Of course child. What may I do for you”

 “Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me.. Hide it under your robes perhaps ?

“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.”

“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you,” she replied.

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare”

“From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.”

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor”

Father replied, “I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused.”

Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next please!”

************

Mot:  Dang! - Ya Gots to Be REalllly Careful Playing with the Settings!! 

Mot: Soooo Thoughtful!! ~~~~

Mot:  ..I'm In Trouble Again!! -- Guys!!! - It MUST be a Marital Thingy!!!

Mot:  ..... And Then the Fight Started! ~~~~

Mot: ..... What is the Wildest Question!!???? ~~~~~

"Teens, Kids and More..." Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  Ten Things I Should Have Taught My Teens BEFORE They Left Home

by Betsy Voreacos| February 19, 2020

 “But, mom!” the living-back-at-home daughter protested. “You have to TELL me these things.”

These things include, but are not limited to, extracting long strands of brown wavy hair from the bathroom drain. Curbing her ten-dollar-a-day grapes habit, or at the very least, replacing said fruit.

Completing a cycle of laundry before the mother comes along with the next three loads and angrily folds what has been left in the dryer, because, contrary to popular belief, she’s not mean enough to throw it in a crumpled heap on the daughter’s bedroom floor. Which is exactly where it came from.

As the revolving door on Grove Street opens and closes to my adult offspring, I find myself marveling at how little they know about basic household concepts. Or, in other words, how much I failed to teach them. I take most of the blame. Most. Not all. Because, I always had a valid excuse.

When they were growing up and I was schlepping them from field to field, house to house, school to school, I just didn’t have the time. It was so much more efficient to do it myself than to redo what they tried to do.

If I had it to do over, here’s what I would have taught my teens before they left home:

What to tell teens before they leave home

1. I would teach my children that sheets should be changed more than once a year. That toothpaste droolings in the sink are not attractive. And that toilets don’t get cleaned by themselves.

2. I would show them how to lower the shades at night and how to open them in the morning. Where the outside trashcan is. And how to take the recycling bins to the curb on alternate Tuesdays.

3. I’d explain why it’s not a good idea to leave a plastic bag on top of the toaster oven when it’s in use. Why the dishwasher doesn’t remove burnt-on food byproducts. And why baked potatoes blow up in the microwave if not pierced with a fork.

4. I would teach my children to hand wash the ice cream scooper that says not dishwasher safe and not put the Henckles knives in the dishwasher. Or the cash iron skillets. Or the plastic water bottles on the bottom rack.

5. I’d show them how to water the plants on the porch. How to empty the overflowing mailbox that they pass every time they come in the door. How to plunge a toilet. How to tell when cold cuts have gone rancid. And how to use a coaster.

6. I’d explain the reasoning behind bringing deck chair cushions in before it rains. Cutting the grass before the neighbors ask us to. Emptying the (I didn’t even know we had one) dehumidifier before it overflows. Replenishing the milk before it’s all gone.

7. I would teach my children how to use a hanger. How to replace the toilet paper. How to finish a water bottle. And how to vacuum dog hair.

8. I’d show them where the cleaning supplies are kept. Where the car keys are hung. And where the closest Ben & Jerry’s is. Just in case they wanted to pick up some Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream for someone they love.

9. I’d explain the importance of keeping the inside shower curtain in and keeping the outside curtain out. That there’s a direct correlation between round-the-clock air conditioning and over-the-top electric bills. That paid-for car insurance, and cell phones, are not God-given rights.

10. I would teach my children that texting to say “I’m alive” with aforementioned paid-for-by-parent cell phone (because a family plan is so much cheaper) is kind. That saying “Thanks for all you do, Mumsie,” is sweet. That answering a direct question with a blank stare is not.

If I had it to do over, I’d do it all much differently. I’d be stricter. I’d be stronger. I’d do what my friend Barbara tells me to do every time she sees me. I’d charge rent. From middle school on.

When I muddle and muse over these many misdoings, misgivings and misparentings, I can’t help but wonder how the great mothers of the world do it. My soon-to-be 93 year-old mama comes immediately to mind.

And that’s when I laugh.

Because, not all that long ago, she could have written this very same story about my sisters and me.

Mot:  ... Remembering That First Ride! ~~~

Mot: .... Did yah ever Notice that ~~~

Mot: ~~~~ Wild Ones are the Bestest!! ~~~~

Mot:  ... When the ""Wee Folks"" Teach Us! ~~~

Mot: .. ooooh..... ooooh..... ooooh...

Saturday Night "Humor While We Wait" Posted by Mot at TNT

Mot:  A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

 She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested

The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied...

"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself

BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..

.I just lost it.......

"CASE DISMISSED!!"

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Mot:  ... Immediate Openings Here at Our Flying School!!

Mot:  . the Big Challenge! -- making them Last till the big night! ~~

Mot:  .... ooooh the Delima of Growing Up and ~~

Mot:  ... Careful Out there as She May ~~~

Mot: .... Do Ya Get It!! ~~~~