"Humor While We Wait" Posted by Mot at TNT

Mot: 'Did you you say that?' he hissed at the parrot

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, Jesus knows you're here. He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard Jesus is watching you.

Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you you say that?' he hissed at the parrot

'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked. I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

'Moses, replied the bird. 'Moses? the burglar laughed. ' What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus

Mot:  “Wow, perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabby says, “Wow, perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

The passenger asks, “Who?”

The cabby explains, “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like when I came along just when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

The passenger remarked, “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

“Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

The passenger said, “Sounds like he was really something special.”

The cabby replied, “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”

The passenger was amazed, “Wow, what a guy!”

The cabby continued, “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

Passenger: “How did you meet him?”

Cabby: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”

*************

Mot:  . Hmmmmm - Might be sumthun to this un!! ((( Looking at the Time )))

Mot: .... Apparently - Contrary to What they Say!!! –