Mot: It's important for men to remember that as women grow older…..

TNT:

Mot: It's important for men to remember that as women grow older…..

It's important for men to remember that as women grow older, household tasks may not come as easily to them as they once did. When this happens, patience is key—after all, there's nothing worse than an overstressed wife.

 My name is Fred, and I’d like to share how I’ve handled this with my wife, Linda.

When I retired a few years ago, Linda had to take on a full-time job in addition to her part-time one, both to help with expenses and to maintain our health insurance. Not long after, I began noticing little signs that she was slowing down. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she arrives from work. Even though she knows how hungry I am, she often says she needs a short break before making dinner.

Now, I don’t complain. Instead, I encourage her to rest as long as she needs—then wake me up when the food is on the table. Since I usually have a hearty lunch at the club, eating out again isn’t practical. By the time I walk in the door, I’m more than ready for a nice home-cooked meal.

 In the past, Linda would clear the table and do the dishes right after dinner. Lately, though, I’ve noticed that they sometimes sit there for hours. I do my best to be supportive by gently reminding her—several times—that they won’t clean themselves. I know she appreciates these little nudges because, eventually, she gets them done before bed.

Another thing about aging is that it seems to bring out a tendency to complain. Take the bills, for example. Linda often says she struggles to find time to pay them during her lunch break. But hey, we vowed to take each other for better or worse, so I offer my best advice: spread it out over two or three days so she won’t feel rushed. I also reassure her that skipping lunch every now and then wouldn’t do any harm (if you catch my drift).

When it comes to household chores, she’s been needing more breaks. Just the other day, she stopped halfway through mowing the lawn. Now, I didn’t make a fuss. I’m a reasonable man. I told her to take a break, fix herself a big, cold glass of fresh lemonade, and sit down for a while. And, of course, since she was making one, she might as well bring me one, too.

I know I probably sound like a saint for being so patient with Linda. Believe me, it’s not easy. Some men might struggle to show this level of understanding. But if my story encourages even one husband to be more considerate toward his aging wife, then sharing it will have been worth it. After all, we’re here to help each other.

EDITOR’S NOTE:

Fred passed away unexpectedly on July 23 due to a freak accident. According to the police report, he was found with a 50-inch titanium golf club lodged in a rather unfortunate place, with only five inches of grip still visible. A nearby sledgehammer suggested it had been "gently encouraged" into position. His wife, Linda, was taken into custody but was swiftly acquitted by an all-female jury. Her defense? Fred had somehow, without looking, accidentally sat on his own golf club.

Saturday Night “Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot: "THE HUSBAND STORE"

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. A mong the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

"You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building."

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On each floor the signs on the doors read:

FLOOR 1 - These men have jobs.

FLOOR 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

FLOOR 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:

FLOOR 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:

FLOOR 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

FLOOR 6 - You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. 😄

( Author Unknown)

**********

Mot:  **Advice for Anyone Moving to the South**

1. **Save your bacon grease.** Trust us, you’ll find out why soon enough.

2. **Got your car stuck in a ditch?** Don’t fret. Four guys in a pickup with a tow chain and a 12-pack will show up in no time. Just step aside—they’ve been waiting for this moment.

3. **Language lesson:** “Y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural. “All y’all’s” is plural possessive. Got it?

4. **Prepare for the weather talk:** “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity,” they’ll say. And when August rolls around, you’ll understand.

5. **No one cares how you did it up North.** Really, no one.

6. **Hot?** Don’t worry—it *might* cool off by December. If you’re lucky.

7. **Luxury status symbols?** Forget the Benz. Down here, it’s all about Chevy, Dodge, or Ford.

8. **"Fixin’ to”** doesn’t mean anything’s broken. It just means someone’s about to do something.

9. **Parking priorities:** Shade beats proximity every time.

10. **Road etiquette:** If a slower driver pulls onto the shoulder, that’s called “courtesy.” Take note.

11. **BBQ is sacred.** It’s not grilling burgers and hot dogs—it’s a way of life.

12. **Football is king.** Weddings, funerals, and even divorces are scheduled around the games.

13. **Ranch dressing:** It’s not a condiment; it’s a lifestyle.

14. **Honk at us?** Big mistake. We’ll sit there all day just to prove a point.

15. **Emergency vehicles?** We pull over. Always.

16. **Funeral processions:** We stop, turn off the music, and show respect. Men remove their hats, and some even place a hand over their heart.

17. **“Bless your heart”** isn’t a compliment. It’s Southern for “You’re an idiot.”

18. **Everything’s Coke.** Sprite? Coke. Pepsi? Coke. Mountain Dew? Yep, Coke.

19. **Weather in the South:** Don’t like it? Wait 15 minutes—it’ll probably change.

20. **And finally, it’s all in good fun.** Welcome to the South!

 Mot: . OLD is when...

Mot: . Not So Funny Now -- Is it 

Mot: ooooooooh lordy!!! -- the ""Top Ten""~~~~senior pick up lines

Sunday Night “Humor While we Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  ...... Aaaaaaahhhhhh - Pure Marital Bliss it is!!!!

A young couple got married and left for their honeymoon.

When they returned, the bride immediately called her mother.

“How was the honeymoon, sweetheart?” her mother asked.

“Oh, Mum, it was wonderful! So romantic!” the bride gushed. But suddenly, her voice cracked, and she burst into tears.

“What’s wrong, dear?” her mother asked, alarmed.

“Mum, it’s Sam,” the bride sobbed. “As soon as we got back, he started using the most horrible language—words I’d never heard before! Awful, horrible four-letter words! You’ve got to come and get me! Please, Mum!”

Her mother tried to calm her down. “Sarah, take a deep breath. It can’t be that bad. What kind of four-letter words?”

“I can’t say them, Mum,” the bride wept. “They’re so embarrassing! Please just come get me!”

“Darling, you need to tell me what he said. What could be so terrible?”

Through her tears, the bride finally confessed, “Mum, he said words like dust, wash, iron, and cook!”

Mot:  ..... the husband asked his wife, “What did the doctor say?”

A woman went with her husband to his doctor’s appointment.

After the checkup, the doctor asked to speak with her privately.

He said, “Your husband is suffering from a serious illness, compounded by extreme stress. If you don’t follow these instructions, he’s unlikely to survive.”

The wife listened intently as the doctor continued:

“Each morning, prepare him a healthy breakfast and help him start the day in a good mood. For lunch, make sure he eats a nutritious meal, and for dinner, cook something extra special.

Avoid giving him any chores—he’ll likely be exhausted from work. Don’t bring up your problems, as it will only add to his stress. And lastly, make sure to fulfill his every sexual desire several times a week.”

The doctor concluded, “If you do all this consistently for 10 months to a year, I’m confident he’ll recover fully.”

On the drive home, the husband asked his wife, “What did the doctor say?”

Without hesitation, she replied, “You’re going to die.”

 ************

Mot: . Me Yelling ~~~~at squirrels

Mot: You don’t know cold  

Saturday Night “Humor While We Wait” posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  *The Trucker and the Witty Waitress*

One sunny morning, a rugged trucker strolled into a bustling truck stop café. His heavy boots echoed on the tiled floor as he made his way to the counter, where a cheerful blonde waitress stood, pen in hand, ready to take his order.

The trucker flashed a grin and said, “I’ll have three flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a couple of running boards.”

The waitress froze for a moment, her pen hovering midair. Was he joking? Or maybe lost? Determined to stay professional, she masked her confusion with a smile and chirped, “Coming right up!” before heading into the kitchen.

Inside, she found the cook, a burly man flipping pancakes like a pro.

“Hey,” she said, “there’s a guy out there asking for three flat tires, headlights, and running boards. Did we turn into an auto parts store?”

The cook burst into laughter, nearly dropping his spatula. “Relax, sweetheart. That’s just trucker lingo. Three flat tires are pancakes, headlights are sunny-side-up eggs, and running boards are strips of bacon. It’s their way of having fun.”

The waitress couldn’t help but laugh. “Got it. Truck-stop slang.”

She quickly got to work, carefully stacking pancakes, frying eggs to perfection, and adding crispy bacon to the plate. Just as she was about to serve the order, an idea struck her.

Grinning, she grabbed a small bowl, filled it with baked beans, and placed it on the tray. With a spring in her step, she delivered the meal to the trucker, setting it down with a big smile.

The trucker took one look at the bowl of beans and raised an eyebrow. “What’s this?” he asked.

Without missing a beat, she smirked and replied, “Well, while you’re waiting for your flat tires, headlights, and running boards, I thought you might want to gas up!”

The trucker let out a hearty laugh that filled the café, catching the attention of other diners, who couldn’t help but chuckle at her quick wit.

From that day on, the trucker became a regular, and the blonde waitress earned her reputation as the sharpest, most quick-witted queen of the truck stop.

*Moral of the story:* A little humor—and a bowl of beans—can brighten anyone’s day!

Mot:  Truisum of Today 

Mot:  . First Thing to buy 

Mot:  .... What a shame! 

Some “Anecdotes While We Wait “ posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Young Guy Mocks Old Man … But His Reply Is Genius

Mot:  Remember to respect your elders!

A 71-year-old man made the trip back to his old college to take one last look around campus again before he settled in to retired life.

As he got to the campus he saw a young man studying hard, and the sight brought back memories. He sat on the bench beside the lad, but was surprised when the kid started spouting off at him.

“You old geezer. Your generation will never understand my generation,” the kid lectured. “You grew up in a different world. In fact, your world is almost primitive compared to mine,” the student said.

“Is that right?” the elder man said.

“The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, microwaves. I can carry hundreds of books on a tiny chip in my cell phone. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing, and,” he paused to take swig of beer.

The senior took advantage of the break in the student’s litany and said, “You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young – so we invented them. Now, what are you doing for the next generation?”

The student fell completely silent and all the people around them cheered!

He really told him!

************

Mot: "Are you absolutely sure it's going to be an extremely cold winter?"

It was autumn, and the residents of a remote Native American reservation were eager to know if the coming winter would be harsh or mild. Their new Chief, unfamiliar with the traditional methods of predicting the weather, couldn't read the sky the way the old chiefs had. Unsure of what to expect, he decided to take precautions. He told the tribe that the winter would likely be cold and advised everyone to gather firewood just in case.

As a practical leader, though, he wanted more certainty. So, after a few days, he decided to take action. He used a phone booth to call the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter going to be cold?"

The meteorologist on the other end replied, "Yes, it looks like this winter will be quite cold."

Relieved by this confirmation, the Chief returned to his tribe and ordered them to gather even more firewood.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again and asked, "Will it be a very cold winter?"

The same answer came: "Yes, it will be a very cold winter."

The Chief went back to his people and instructed them to collect every piece of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called once more. "Are you absolutely sure it's going to be an extremely cold winter?"

"Absolutely," the meteorologist responded. "In fact, it's expected to be one of the coldest winters on record."

The Chief, curious, asked, "How can you be so certain?"

The weatherman replied, "Because the Indians are gathering firewood like there's no tomorrow!"

Mot: . Meanwhile -- over in Florida!!! 

Mot:  . Parenting .........in a nutshell

Mot: A sad thing on getting older -

Sunday Night “Humor While We Wait” posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot: .......... “Your name and occupation?” St. Peter asks.

An elderly priest passes away and finds himself at the gates of heaven.

He joins a line of souls waiting to meet St. Peter and gain entry into the Kingdom of Heaven. Before long, it’s his turn, and there’s only one person ahead of him.

St. Peter greets the man in front and says, “Ah yes, state your name and occupation.”

The man replies, “Will Snicket, taxi driver from New York City.”

St. Peter checks his list, nods, and says, “Yes, indeed. Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of the Lord.”

The priest steps forward next, brimming with confidence.

“Your name and occupation?” St. Peter asks.

“Father Samuel, minister of the Church of God,” he replies proudly.

St. Peter consults his list and, after a moment, says, “Very well. Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of the Lord.”

The priest looks shocked and protests, “Wait a minute! I’ve spent my entire life serving the Lord. Why does a taxi driver get a silken robe and golden staff while I’m given these?”

St. Peter looks at him calmly and says, “My child, up here we work by results. When you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed.”

THE RULES FOR CITY SLICKERS TO ENTER WYOMING

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let’s get this straight; it’s called a “gravel road.” I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & feed lots. That’s what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-25 goes North and South, Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $200,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understnd the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a deer is coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time

7. You bring “coke” into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring “Mary Jane” into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

OK, confession time. Before I posted this, because of my out of date, old fogie, life style, I called our child and asked what a “Mary Jane” was. I am SO afraid I will unknowingly post something dirty or offensive! For any of you other “so green ye could plant 'em” senior citizens....it is marijuana.

Mot:  Just a Bit of Insight into Raising the ""Wee Folks"" -- siiggghhh

Mot: Opal is a bit scary 

Friday Night “Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot: ...... Two old men are sitting on a bench in the park.

Two old men are sitting on a bench in the park.

A young, attractive girl runs by in a sports bra and shorts. One of the men smiles, and the girl comes over, asking, “Why are you grinning at me, you creep?”

The old man replies kindly, “I’m not smiling at you, I’m smiling because no matter how tough life gets, seeing pretty young girls in summer always makes an old man feel better.”

The girl, touched, kisses him on the cheek and jogs away.

The old man then turns to his friend and says, “3-0, your turn.

Mot: .............. until she finally broke the quiet.

Tim finally tied the knot with his longtime girlfriend, and after the honeymoon, he was back in his comfort zone—organizing his precious golf clubs in the living room. His new wife watched him in silence, arms crossed, until she finally broke the quiet.

“Tim, I’ve been thinking… now that we’re married, maybe it’s time you gave up golfing. You spend so much time on the course, you could probably sell those clubs for a nice bit of cash.”

Tim froze, clutching his driver like a lifeline, eyes wide.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” she asked, concerned.

“For a second there, you sounded just like my ex-wife.”

Her jaw dropped. “Ex-wife?!” she exclaimed, “I didn’t know you were married before!”

Tim grinned. “I wasn’t.”

Mot: . Crafty She is!!! 

Mot: Just Sharing !!! 

Mot: Diary of a Blonde

Sunday Night “Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  A wife texted her husband:

"Hi, I’ll be late. Please cook dinner, wash all the dirty dishes, prepare our bed, and make sure the kids are asleep before I get back."

A moment later, she sent another text:

"Oh, and I forgot to mention... I also bought a bottle of BLUE LABEL PREMIUM SCOTCH WHISKY for you."

The husband immediately replied, "Really?"

She answered:

"No… I just wanted to make sure you read my first message."

Mot:  So he sat down and wrote a cheeky letter:

One evening, John invited his mother over for dinner. As they chatted and laughed around the table, she couldn’t help but notice his roommate, Judy, who was charming, witty, and undeniably attractive. For a while now, John's mom had been harboring a quiet suspicion about her son and his roommate, and watching them interact that night only fueled her curiosity.

Catching the inquisitive glint in his mother's eye, John finally leaned over and said with a grin, “Mom, I know exactly what you’re thinking. But trust me—Judy and I are just roommates, nothing more.”

His mother raised an eyebrow but let it slide, and the evening ended pleasantly.

A few days later, Judy approached John with a puzzled look. “You know that beautiful silver gravy ladle we use for special occasions? I haven’t seen it since your mom was over. You don’t think…?”

John laughed and replied, “I doubt it, but let me check with her just to be sure.”

So he sat down and wrote a cheeky letter:

“Dear Mom,

I’m not saying you *did* take the silver gravy ladle, and I’m not saying you *didn’t* take it. But the fact remains that it’s been missing ever since you came over for dinner.

Love, your son.”

A few days later, John received a letter back. His mother’s response was brief but razor-sharp:

“Dear John,

I’m not saying you *do* sleep with Judy, and I’m not saying you *don’t* sleep with her. But if she were sleeping in her own bed, she’d have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom.”

 ************

Mot:  a bit of Dating advice frum ole ""Mot"" of course 

Mot: .. Pregnancy Q&A

Mot: its how you say it

Mot: Dog walk……

“Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler

December 8 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So
romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
sight! Can there be a more lovely place in
the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've
ever had!

Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.

I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered
up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got
to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry-
we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and
buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish
I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2
extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants
a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think
that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my a** on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like h***. The
wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very
cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to
pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but
stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to
her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe
I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of
the d*** stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all
day The d*** snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying.

Called the only hardware store around to see about
buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
another shipment in March. I think they're lying.

Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done
and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white s**** fell today, and it's so cold,
it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes
to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I
had to p***. By the time I got undressed, p***ed and
dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to
hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of
the winter, but he says he's too busy.
I think the a**h*** is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house
this morning. What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke
the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I
ever catch the son of a b**** who drives that snow
plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his b**** and
beat him to death with my broken shovel.. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just
been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
busy watching for the d*** snowplow.

December 25
Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the d***
slop tonight - Snowed in.

The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. D***, I hate
the snow!

Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one
more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in. Why the h*** did I ever move here? It
was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze;
plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he
only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The B------  is
driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever
heard How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now
he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the
beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the
broken snow shovel up his a?. The wife went home to
her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

“Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot: . I still have so many unanswered questions

I’m getting older, and it’s just hit me—I still have so many unanswered questions! Like, who *did* let the dogs out? Where's the beef? How do you get to Sesame Street?

Why doesn't Dora just use Google Maps? And why on earth do eggs come in a flimsy carton, but batteries are locked up in packaging tougher than Fort Knox?

Oh, and why can’t women put on mascara without their mouth hanging open? Why is the word “abbreviated” so long? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavors, but dish soap has real lemons? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

 And why do we “put our two cents in,” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”—who's getting that extra penny?

Also, why do "The Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune? Why did you just sing both to check? And seriously, what *is* Victoria’s secret?

Now, before you think I’m a genius, I should admit—I got this from a friend, who borrowed it from her brother’s girlfriend’s uncle’s cousin’s baby’s momma’s doctor, who lives next door to my old classmate’s mailman. Your turn to pass it on! Peace! (Credit to the original mastermind!)

 Mot: . Oh My

Mot: . Ya Knows - I Might - just Might Need it ... but ~~~~ 

Mot: Earl is a fast learner

Mot: .. Been There - Done That!! ---need something sweet

“Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  The Curtain Rods

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle light, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home......Including the curtain rods.

************

Mot: .. Good Job 

Mot: . Truth be Known 

Mot: Clever he Can Beeeeee   

Mot:  with the Gas Prices so out of Hand!!!! 

Mot: . poor ole ""Opal""