Saturday Night “Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot: "THE HUSBAND STORE"

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. A mong the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

"You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building."

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On each floor the signs on the doors read:

FLOOR 1 - These men have jobs.

FLOOR 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

FLOOR 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:

FLOOR 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:

FLOOR 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

FLOOR 6 - You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. 😄

( Author Unknown)

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Mot:  **Advice for Anyone Moving to the South**

1. **Save your bacon grease.** Trust us, you’ll find out why soon enough.

2. **Got your car stuck in a ditch?** Don’t fret. Four guys in a pickup with a tow chain and a 12-pack will show up in no time. Just step aside—they’ve been waiting for this moment.

3. **Language lesson:** “Y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural. “All y’all’s” is plural possessive. Got it?

4. **Prepare for the weather talk:** “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity,” they’ll say. And when August rolls around, you’ll understand.

5. **No one cares how you did it up North.** Really, no one.

6. **Hot?** Don’t worry—it *might* cool off by December. If you’re lucky.

7. **Luxury status symbols?** Forget the Benz. Down here, it’s all about Chevy, Dodge, or Ford.

8. **"Fixin’ to”** doesn’t mean anything’s broken. It just means someone’s about to do something.

9. **Parking priorities:** Shade beats proximity every time.

10. **Road etiquette:** If a slower driver pulls onto the shoulder, that’s called “courtesy.” Take note.

11. **BBQ is sacred.** It’s not grilling burgers and hot dogs—it’s a way of life.

12. **Football is king.** Weddings, funerals, and even divorces are scheduled around the games.

13. **Ranch dressing:** It’s not a condiment; it’s a lifestyle.

14. **Honk at us?** Big mistake. We’ll sit there all day just to prove a point.

15. **Emergency vehicles?** We pull over. Always.

16. **Funeral processions:** We stop, turn off the music, and show respect. Men remove their hats, and some even place a hand over their heart.

17. **“Bless your heart”** isn’t a compliment. It’s Southern for “You’re an idiot.”

18. **Everything’s Coke.** Sprite? Coke. Pepsi? Coke. Mountain Dew? Yep, Coke.

19. **Weather in the South:** Don’t like it? Wait 15 minutes—it’ll probably change.

20. **And finally, it’s all in good fun.** Welcome to the South!

 Mot: . OLD is when...

Mot: . Not So Funny Now -- Is it 

Mot: ooooooooh lordy!!! -- the ""Top Ten""~~~~senior pick up lines