News, Rumors and Humor Tuesday Afternoon 8-31-2021

RV Excerpts from the Restored Republic via a GCR: Update as of Tues. 31 Aug. 2021

Compiled Tues. 31 Aug. 2021 12:01 am EST by Judy Byington

Judy Note: No new Intel has come in on the status of the RV since Fri. 27 Aug, whenour Military Intel Contact indicated thatthe Tier 4B Internet Group would see exchange/ redemption appointment notification by some time Tues. 31 Aug.

Today on Mon. afternoon 30 Aug. he said that we were so close that he couldn’t say much, except that [redacted] admin people blocking the RV in the USA were being arrested and removed.

A. Schedule of Events:

On Sat 22 Aug. there was large global bank and financial industry meetings in Iraq involving all 207 participating countries. They were celebrating the Global Currency Reset. Bond Holder notifications were set to go out, with liquidity on Tues. 31 Aug.

By Mon. 13 Sept. Tier 4B was to be finished exchanging so rates could be adjusted for the Tier 5 public start of exchanges on Wed 15 Sept.

Read full post here:  https://dinarchronicles.com/2021/08/31/restored-republic-via-a-gcr-update-as-of-august-31-2021/

Judy Note: Tues. 31 Aug. Charlie Ward 1:43 am EST: I just received a message from the staff in Washington that blessing is so near now that she sent an Emoji as they are already under NDA. As soon as the liquidity starts today Tues. 31 Aug, then within 24hrs the RV would start. The liquidity would hit Dubi 1 & Dubi 2 and then within an hour, it will go through all levels. The RV needs to be done this week and not next week as we are told from powers. Have faith my friends and stay close to God that the RV is imminent now. No one can stop it. It’s now.

Whiplash347: Be ready for the 6th & 7th, Sunday, Monday. Two days ahead of schedule. 9/11.

https://dinarchronicles.com/2021/08/31/restored-republic-via-a-gcr-extra-special-update-as-of-august-31-2021/

************

Courtesy of Dinar Guru

Pimpy  There is a huge summit.  I was excited about it.  I was hoping to hear some great things about it and of course al my hopes came true...there's a lot of information going on about the summit and it's success...there was a lot of great counties, 9 in total...what they were doing was really wishing Iraq luck and they all support Iraq ready to be on their own...finally have their own sovereignty reinstated.  All of them are agreeing to support Iraq...They support the White Paper reforms and they all agreed on different forms of trade and security and education...they whole 9 years.  That's what I really was hoping for...

************

TNT:

Carter:  Does anybody else think the can still get kicked down the road again with everything going on?

Kaseyko1:  Carter, I don't think the can will be kicked again; I think we are truly at the end of the road! I'm hopeful we'll see something by the end of the week; there's too many good things that have happened & Iraq & CBI are doing a lot of talking about what they're doing; can only mean good things.

MountainMole:  The kicking of the can. The can can only be kicked until it’s no longer a can or they come to the end of the road. Both have occurred IMHO

TNDOC: Mountain mole, I agree. They try kicking the can again, it is going to bounce right back to them.

Kaseyko1:  Things have never looked so good for us like what we are seeing right now!

MountainMole: This will be a September to remember

************

Tishwash:  Nassar Al-Rubaie: The just distribution of the wealth of the Iraqis is the one that unites them

The leader of the Sadrist movement, Nassar al-Rubaie, confirmed, on Monday, that the federal system in Iraq is the best solution in the way of governance in Iraq.  

 Al-Rubaie said, during his participation in the "Al-Rafidain Forum for Dialogue" and followed by "Nass" (August 31, 2021): "Any people of multiple sects and ethnicities, especially in Iraq, have become partisan pluralism, which is an ethnic and sectarian representation, as partisan pluralism has strengthened that The problem is that she takes this or that identity.  

He pointed out that "Iraq needs a political will to build a strong modern state that fulfills the hopes of the Iraqi people, and is based on a fair distribution, because the unified for the Iraqis is the equitable distribution of wealth."  

He pointed out that "the political process in Iraq has gone through several controversies and the regime in 2003 fell as a result of the occupation of legislators from the United Nations."  

He continued, "The dialectic of occupation and liberation continues until the moment, instead of discussing progress in the field of development and news," noting that "the mechanism in which the constitution was written was dependent on the transitional government, and the greatest harm in it is that the occupation does not exit without the presence of a constitution and a legitimate government."  

Al-Rubaie stressed, "The constitution needs to explain many of its paragraphs instead of jurisprudence, and the Federal Court is concerned with this matter."  

And he touched on the oil and gas law, stressing that "if the oil and gas law was approved, it would achieve sustainable development in all sectors in Iraq, and would put an end to the trespassers on the country's wealth."   link

Mot:  Clampetts Go to Maui · Jeff Foxworthy ~~~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn1pHER3lAI

Mot:  Games Rednecks Play · Jeff Foxworthy ---

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PKPfw5HoLg

"Dinarland-The Land of Confuse-Zim" by Dr. Dinar

Dinarland - The Land Of Confuse-Zim  By Dr. Dinar

Well, surprise, surprise, surprise!

Here we are, on the verge of yet another Holiday shopping season and we're still sitting here, broker than broke.

Without an RV.

Without a completed GCR.

Still unsure the GCR process has actually started processing.

Sure, we've hear a thousand times the process has started.

But, as with everything else in Dinarland, as it stands, that's just another unprovable rumor.

How can that be.

Who in their right mind ever imagined we'd still be here.

Three quarters of the way through yet another year.

And might I add, the weirdest year on record.

A year that, like so many others that came before, began with such promise, only to be left with that same ol' Dinarja Vu feeling we've been dealing with for the past decade plus.

 Yep, back at the end of 2010, throughout Dinarland all we heard was we'd never get to 2011 without "cashin' out our dee-nars".

Oh how wrong they were.

And how wrong we were for not knowing how wrong they were.

And to make matters worse, back then all we had to concern ourselves with was the simple RV of the IQD.

That's it.

Nothin' crazy about that.

How much easier could it be.

Wham, Bam, Thank You #43!

Even if they didn't originally intend for the RV to include you and me, which shouldn't come as any big surprise to any of us playing along, by that point they begrudgingly rewrote the rule book, thereby allowing us to play along.

Say hello to the new, renewed & reimproved #13303.

And Thank You too, Dr. Shabinabibi.

Most of us are well aware of your boasting of Iraq's ability to support a $15 to $17 fantasy rate and all the reasons behind your making such an insanely unrealistic statement.

And how your statement has been taken completely out of context for far too many years.

Having said that, those of us living in the real world will gladly take our $3.41 and bow out gracefully.

Off to the various Auto Dealerships and Zillow we will go.

On our way to making our dreams come true.

But hang on there fellow Dinarians, not so fast.

Turns out there was something else in the works.

Much more "stuff" lurking behind the curtain than we were aware of.

At least not at that time anyway.

It was around that time we began to hear the rumors of the "Rise of the Dong".

Say what!?!

Now we have Vietnam involved in all this?

Whose crazy idea was that anyway!

Talk about a surprise.

They quickly explained it away, saying China was going to move all of their manufacturing to nearby Vietnam, thereby creating more "living space" for their ever expanding population.

Who could argue with that kind of logic.

Not to mention all of the newly discovered precious metals lying dormant under all the Vietnamese rice fields.

Talk about Fields of Dreams.

That stuff couldn't fit any better into this storyline if they tried.

Almost as if they made it up.

But they wouldn't make this stuff up, would they?

Nah. Not even if they could.

Do I even need to mention all of the as yet unfracked oil sitting just offshore, awaiting future fracking.

Who knew.

Believe it or not, it all made total sense.

Which, when you think about it, is more than confusing.

At that point, as it is now, making sense was anything but the "norm" in Dinarland.

So that alone was plenty crazy.

Which fits right in with the rest of this scheme.

But that was pretty much the last of the craziness we heard about the VND.

Well, besides the rates of course.

Don't even get me going on the insanity of all the rate rumors.

You'll think I'm crazy.

Street rates.

Market rates.

Sovereign rates.

Contract rates.

And don't even get me going on the whole Demand-Your-Own-Rates thing.

Since then, the VND has calmed down quite a bit, yet remains a "regular" in the first basket.

No questions asked, just another crazily concocted piece of the GCR puzzle.

Sure, they said it would get crazy at the end and it was definitely getting awfully crazy at that time, what with numerous people saying this would be our last broke weekend, week, after week, after crazy-filled week.

Therefore, it must finally be the end.

Right?

After all, it couldn't get much crazier than it already was, could it?

Well, not so quick there, Currencyhopper.

It was about to get a whole lot crazier.

Enter the Zim.

Aka; Level 3 Crazy.

That crazy, kooky, silkscreened on 20# standard office copy paper, festooned with "I Promise To Pay Whomever Is Crazy Enough To Believe In This Lotsofzero's Stuff..." in the upper left hand corner, Triple Rock covered, multi-purpose Monopo-money.

And heeeeerrre we go again!

Cue the crazy rumor factory, workin' overtime on the late shift.

Highest numerical value in the history of currency. Check!

Demonitized back in 2009, currently sold as a "collectible", recently "reimagined" as a Bond. Check!

A James Bond.

Shaken, as well as stirred.

Zero's on, zero's off, a multiplyerin' we will go. Check-mate!

You name it, rumor upon rumor, the Zim is awash in it.

The only thing we haven't seen (yet) is an actual photo showing an Alien Clone wearing a gold tie having recently arrived "on planet" from his home on Mars, with his "to go" bag securely by his side, full of Zim notes and receipts, heading off in an electric-powered Uber, on his way to an Exchange Center somewhere in Area 51.

And believe me, I won't be the least bit shocked when we do see it.

Or at least hear about it anyway.

After all, we've pretty much seen and heard everything else.

The one semi-consistent rumor in all this, having been shouted from the rooftops for the past decade plus, is that this RV/GCR thing really is real.

And that it will happen.

And that, when it happens, it will happen "suddenly".

As in one second it won't be there, and without any prior warning whatsoever, poof, there it will be.

That kind of suddenly.

Any day.

Any time.

Almost as if they have it all planned out.

Which, to be honest, I highly doubt they do.

I think they'd like to think they have it all planned out and that everything is working out according to their plan.

But honestly, at this point I think they're pretty much just wingin' it.

Attacking each day's obstacles as they come.

And right along with that statement is that this so called "suddenly" will happen when we least expect it.

Least expect it?

Seriously!?!

How is that even possible.

At this point I think all of Dinarland is fully expecting it.

Each and every second of every minute of every day.

And night.

We're even expecting the unexpected, just in case they try to slide one by us on the down low.

Like, totally unexpected or something.

Yep, basically we've got all the bases covered.

So that when it finally does happen, and I firmly believe it will, it will happen on somebody's watch.

Perhaps they should change "when we least expect it" to "when we least believe it".

By that I mean it could very well happen tomorrow, but we've heard that so many times that 99% of us no longer believe tomorrow even exists.

Let alone that this RV/GCR thing will happen tomorrow.

Yeah, if there is a tomorrow, the sun will more than likely come out somewhere but the RV/GCR, that's still up in the air.

Aloft among the great unknowns.

And believe me, it will take quite a bit of convincing to get us to believe otherwise.

Hopefully, after having given it some time, allowing it to sink in, we'll all get the surprise of our lives, shouting "GAAA-LEE... SHA-ZIM!" as we exit one of over 6,500 Exchange Centers, none of which are located any further than an hour's drive away from our drone-surveillanced homes.

In spite of all that, I still believe it's not a matter of "if" but of "when".

So above all else, be sure to enjoy the ride.

No matter how crazy it gets from here on out.

And remember, the dronified "eye in the sky" will be watching you all the way from your home to the Exchange Center.

So be sure to leave extra early for your scheduled appointment and be certain to obey all traffic laws.

Last thing we need are any last minute surprises.

Other than those unexpected ones we're totally expecting.

Hang in there folks, this ride's about to get a little bumpy and we don't wanna be caught by surprise.

 Kindly,

Dr. Dinar

Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, a U.S.M.C. recruiter nor am I the Mayor of Mayberry. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.

From Dinar Recaps Archives…….

"Enough Talk...Let's See Some Action!!!" by Dr. Dinar

Thank you Dr. Dinar!!!

Enough Talk... Let's See Some Action! by Dr. Dinar

I don't know about you but I'm pretty much done.

To the point where I'm done hearing it's done.

As in everything's done.

Done... duh duh duh DONE!

Like, really done.

Done to the point where there's nothing left to do.

Nothing left to do because it truly is done.

That's definitely closer to my definition of the word done.

Admittedly, I like everything I eat to be well done.

Even to the point of refusing to eat Sushi unless it's well done.

So, perhaps I'm a bit more demanding when it comes to the true definition of the word done.

Nevertheless, it shouldn't be all that difficult to determine the difference between done and close to done but not actually done, therefore it's not done.

First place to start might be with the persistent rumors continually permeating all throughout Dinarland.

Rumors of everything being done.

How long have we been hearing that.

Seems to me, according to my Dinarland calendar, it's been done for at least the last few years.

And yet, here we are.

Not done.

Would we be hearing all these rumors if indeed everything truly were done?

Not likely.

On second thought, we might still be drowning in rumors but chances are they'd have a more post-process, after the GCR kind of feel to them as opposed to the same ol' this is our week or it's gonna pop this Saturday night or we're only expecting to do one more call, our Celebration call kinda rumors.

So please, don't get me wrong.

I'm not expecting Dinarland to go completely rumorless overnight.

i mean, let's not get crazy here.

But wouldn't it be nice to hear a different batch of rumors for a change.

An extremely welcome change to say the least.

Well, I for one would certainly love it anyway.

Even better yet, I'd enjoy seeing that it's done based solely on the number of zero's in my bank account.

That's the kind of proof I'd enjoy seeing.

As it is now I'm still unable to make a trip through the In-N-Out drive thru and order a Double Double with grilled onions, well done, and have any means of paying for it when it's done cookin', all wrapped up and ready for release.

Until that day comes, it's still not done.

And while I'm on the subject of phrases I can hardly wait to never hear again, let's start with it CAN happen today.

Sheesh, give it a rest.

As far as I'm concerned it could've happened any day over the past one thousand days.

Yes, I'm more than aware that they needed to reinvent the current banking system as well as numerous other changes required to release the GCR.

But you get my drift.

Enough with the talk.

I'm ready for some action.

I want to know it WILL happen!

As in today.

Or any other day ending in "y".

Even better yet, I'd love to hear that IT HAS HAPPENED!

As in past tense, check your emails, make your appointment, grab your "To Go" bag and get to the Exchange Center ASAP!

Is that too much to ask.

Just a factual confirmation of completion, in whatever form it comes.

Be it an email, a barrage of posts all throughout Dinarland or a Piper Cub draggin' a giant banner across the sky with a 1-800-CALLNOW number plastered on it.

At this point, I'm not about to be picky.

I'm open to most any form of communication.

Make it a fortune cookie.

Why not a clever saying on a Starbucks cup.

Heck, at this point I'll settle for a homing pigeon with a Post-it note taped to its leg.

What I'm trying to say is I'm flexible.

Whatever it takes, just send me a for real signal of this thing having reached the end of the line.

Of actually reaching a conclusion.

Actually being concluded.

As in DONE.

Talk is cheap.

No more rumors.

We don't need any more stinkin' rumors, regardless of whose super secret source supplies 'em.

We need action.

Action, leading to results.

Results resulting in our receiving our exchange instructions.

I've pretty much had enough of the boy crying wolf.

To the point where I'm ready to sic the wolf on him and let him eat, just to get the kid to shut up.

As I mentioned earlier, enough already.

We've lived through the rumor stage of this adventure for far too long.

It's time to begin the action phase.

As we've always been told, actions speak louder than rumors.

And after all, isn't that exactly what a rumor is.

A bunch of words lined up in the form of a sentence, completely void of all action.

In other words, just words.

And words don't pay the bills.

So to whomever it may be that's supposedly working feverishly on completing the GCR, forever claiming we're close, please feel free to call it "close enough" and dispatch the "GO" email ASAP!

And to those out there rumored to still be throwin' wrenches, please feel free to close the lid on your toolboxes and call it a day.

You have to know when enough is enough.

And let's face it, enough is enough.

We all know this GCR thing is going to happen eventually, the rest of the world has committed to it.

Why not do the right thing by all involved and go ahead and release it.

Then we can all move on to something much more interesting.

Like life beyond Dinarland.

Hang in there folks.

According to the latest rumors, we're right on top of this thing and it has to happen soon.

If not, the entire global economy will crash.

And supposedly they don't want that to happen.

Or do they.

Who knows what they want.

Who even knows who "they" are.

Chances are they don't even know who they are, nor what they want.

Maybe that's why they can't seem to get anything accomplished.

They have no idea what it is they're supposed to be doing.

This thing is so compartmentalized that they forgot to create the "GO Signal"  Department.

At this point, anything's possible.

Anyway, don't let the rumors get you down.

Just do your best to hang in there, no matter what it takes.

Kindly,

Dr. Dinar

Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, a Federale of the Spanish Mounted Police, nor am I in search of the treasure of the Sierra Madre. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.

From Recaps Archives…..

Humor While We Wait, and Wait and Wait Some More..........

From MarkZ’s Stream Chat

Sabickford:  I'm not much on Seizing the Day, I just poke at it with a stick.

I swear some people need a stamp on their forehead saying "DON"T REPRODUCE"

My bank has a new service where they text you your balance. It's cool, I just don't think they should add "LOL" at the end

If Being sarcastic burned calories, I'd be transparent by now.

“I need to talk to you!!" These six words have the ability to make you instantly recall every bad thing you have ever done, and some you didn't

You know it's been a good day when you didn't have to unleash the flying monkeys.

Don't be afraid of being outnumbered. Remember Eagles fly alone. Pigeons flock together.

They say it's better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?

I realized I was an aggressive driver when my 4 year old yelled " Pick A Lane, Idiot!" From the seat in the Grocery Cart.

Water is the most essential element of life, because without water you can't make Coffee.

Relationships are like a walk in the park- Jurassic park

The hardest part of parenting is trying to fake mad when your kid does something bad but Hilarious.

My soulmate is out there somewhere, pushing a pull door. I just know it.

Now they've invented a pregnancy test with a curved handle so you don't get pee on your hands. Listen, if you aren't ready to get pee on your hands, you definitely NOT ready for Motherhood.

Our town was so small the we didn't have a town Drunk, So we all took turns.

 Look, I'm trying to Rant Here. Stop interrupting me with Facts and Reason

Not to Brag.. I don't even need alcohol to make bad decisions.

I am fluent in three languages…English, Sarcasm, and Profanity

My Morning coffee makes me feel like I have my stuff together. I don't. But it makes me feel like I do.

My son asked me to explain women to him, SO I bought him a Xbox game for his PlayStation.

I don't need someone who sees the good in me. I need someone who sees the Bad and still wants me.

You are going to be Fine. You come from a long line of Lunatics.

I think I need professional Help. A Chef, A Butler and A Maid should do it.

In a packed Elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now Demonstrate the Mating call of a Whale.

If you line up all your Ex's in a row you can see the flow chart of your mental Illness.

Don't use the Bathroom in your dream…It's a Setup!!!

Before you ask me to babysit I think you should know that I think kids are super funny when they're drunk.

Eggs are fantastic for a fitness Diet. Don't like the taste? Add cocoa, butter, flour, sugar & butter. Bake 30 Min.

Got emotions? There's Alcohol for that.

And then alcohol said "put that on Facebook, it's hilarious". But alcohol was wrong, So Very wrong.

Sometimes it's just more fun to take the low road.

Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.

Some things are better left unsaid. Which I realize right after I have said them.

Someone offered me grapes but I declined. I'm not used to taking wine in pill form.

I'm not Cheap, but I am on special this week.

That awkward moment when you're singing a song you often sang as a child - and you suddenly understand the lyrics.

Judging by the looks of my hair this morning, I think I may be a Muppet.

Shout out to everyone who got through the day without taking a nap. Pulled a All-Dayer! Pretty Cool!

I think way too many people have been drinking from the Fountain of Stupid

Well what day will you have time for my shenanigans?

Lieabetes (Lie-a-bee-tees) -noun- A serious affliction some people suffer from that prevents them from being able to tell the truth regardless of the situation.

I Planned to take over the world, But I'm Tired

I found some things to do today. They're called mimosas

Wine-O-Lympics Everyone's a winner in these games

The revised Serenity Prayer…God grant me the strength to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the devoted friends who will post bail money when I snap.

Redneck word of the Week Twerk….Imma have two more beers then it's back to TWERK

This antidepressant works best if you take it with water lapping near your hammock on a Caribbean beach.

I've expanded my skills. I can now forget what I'm doing while I'm actually doing it.

I never thought I would be the kind of person that would get up early to exercise. I was right.

Wish me luck in the Olympics. Just kidding I'm on my forth cupcake.

Dear God, I've been very good today- No grumpy thoughts, no swearing, no smacking people in the head and no whining at all. But I'm about to get out of bed so I may need some help with the rest of the day.

Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anybody about.

The secret to being happy is having a good sense of humor and a Dirty Mind

The Lysol commercial told me to disinfect the things I touch the most. I have a feeling that this is going to burn.

We have to stop this recent culture of people telling us they're "Offended" and expecting us to care

I 've learned so much from my mistakes I'm thinking of making a few more

It's been one of those "I can no longer be held responsible for my actions" kind of days

What do you call a sleepwalking Nun? A Roamin' Catholic

You may not have lost all your marbles, but there's definitely a hole in your bag.

I used to be crazy but one of my voices is a therapist and declared I am sane.

Just call me the little engine that said "Ok, but I need a cup of coffee first."

What does it mean when Holy water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)?

Some say that their body it a temple…Mine is a bouncy castle

Diet Tip: If you feel hungry you could really be just Thirsty. Drink a pitcher of Margaritas and see how you feel.

Today I bought a doughnut without the sprinkles. Diets are hard.

If Pigs could fly imagine how good their wings would taste.

Never ask a woman eating ice cream straight from the carton if she is OK.

Oh Lord, Please Keep all the stupid people from breeding. We are getting badly outnumbered down here.

When you see my head tilt to the right and I start to stare into space, I would RUN! The voices inside my head gave me a brilliant idea. Be very Afraid!

The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which comes from a tree. That makes it a plant, therefore , Chocolate counts as a salad. You're Welcome.

I run entirely on Caffeine and Inappropriate thoughts.

Why Weigh yourself? You could set yourself on Fire and then roll in Broken glass and still feel the same way.

Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent time making it.

Everyone has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.

"Send in the Replacements" By Dr. Dinar

Send In The Replacements!  by Dr. Dinar

Let's face it... we've all done it.

At least to some extent.

By "it" I'm referring to fudging just the slightest bit on a job application.

Or four.

Adding just a lil' "extra" somewhere on our resumés.

Whether it be delivering pizza's or piloting the Space Shuttle, it never hurts to be the best you can be.

Or even better than that, if possible.

Even if it's only on paper.

If not, our work history would be exceedingly boring.

Which is almost always the case, even with the occasional "embellishment" added on

Even if it's only eliminating a job here or there along the way, simply to portray a bit more stability in your career choices.

Nobody wants any "gaps" in their work history.

There's nothing wrong with climbing the ladder.

Matter of fact, last I checked that type of improvement is encouraged.

It's the falling off of the ladder, followed immediately by the tumbling all the way back down to the ground that isn't always the best to put a spotlight on.

What's the harm in a little polishing here 'n there.

I mean, I highly doubt anyone out there is completely innocent

Regardless of where you sit on the pay scale, top to bottom, nobody's immune to wanting to make a great first impression.

And after all, you only get one chance to make a great first impression.

So it's always best to make it a great one.

Unfortunately the whole over promise and under deliver thing can come back to haunt you, despite your best intentions.

Or in the case of us Dinarians, perhaps it's the actions (or rather, the inactions) of some overpromising under-deliverers behind the curtains that are causing us all the harm.

The folks that obviously lied on their job applications and yet, be it through attrition, good fortune, family ties or whatever, were somehow able to secure their jobs anyway.

Yes, I'm referring to all the fine folks supposedly working feverishly behind the scenes to get this whole GCR thing wrapped up.

Signed, sealed, and delivered.

Let's face it, we all see it.

At this point it's extremely obvious they aren't in any way qualified to do the job.

At least not the job as it was assigned to them.

If that weren't the case, it only stands to reason the job would have been completed quite some time ago.

Not that they were or weren't qualified some 35 years ago when the process first began but it pretty much goes without saying that they're extremely underqualified for the current task at hand.

In all fairness, perhaps they weren't given the option to opt-out along the way.

Maybe their contribution to the GCR was simply assigned to them as another part of their daily duties.

Type this, file that, and oh yeah, completely recreate as well as restructure the entire global banking system before you head home today.

Who knows.

Chances are, after all this time they probably can't remember either.

Have they intentionally been endlessly dragging their feet, all in an effort to create job security?

 Or simply perfecting their wrench throwing abilities, all in hopes of keeping their Cornhole skills on point.

Whatever the case may be, they've certainly had more than plenty of time to get this thing done.

And to date, all efforts resulting in a big nothing.

Even with the earlier eight year pause-in-processing-progress, they've still had the past four years to more than make up for lost time.

To at least show some sign of progress in processing of the process.

Yet, here we sit, once again presumably progressless.

Basically broke & beyond befuddled.

Sound familiar?

Well, it should.

After all, it's the same feeling we've had each and every month for the past fifteen years.

How could we have been so delusional as to fall for it yet again.

To fall for the endless "It's happening tomorrow's".

For the "they want us out there shopping up a storm " rumor redundancy.

The one thing in all of this constant confusium that brings me just the slightest peace of mind is the knowing that I'm not alone.

That we're not alone.

Alone in our feeling of having been decidedly duped.

And if we feel taken, can you imagine how the HR peeps that hired these incompetent folks must feel.

I'll bet they aren't all that happy either.

How could they be.

They were hired to do a job.

They've had more than enough time to get it accomplished, and they've failed.

And might I add, miserably at that.

If any of us had been as inept in our daily duties we'd have been terminated many years ago.

 And I'm sure you'll agree, rightfully so.

Which begs the question, how did these people get hired in the first place.

Was there an RV/GCR Job Fair?

If so, I didn't get the memo.

Keep in mind when all these supposedly outstanding individuals were brought on board to complete their assigned duties, online job search giants such as Indoubt, Monstrosity, and Linked Out were nowhere to be found.

Nope, they, along with the world wide interwebs, had yet to be created.

In those days the hiring process likely involved numerous hand-written applications, hand-typed resumés, copious amounts of Cover Sheets, culminating in numerous nerve wracking face to face interviews.

And for the fortunate few that made it through, surviving the interview process, resulting in a win, combined with a "Please report to Karen McFiddlebuster in HR at 9am Monday morning" goodbye, followed by a quick handshake, and they were off.

Excitedly on their way home to iron their upcoming week's workwear and prepare for their magical future in the IT world to unfold.

As time passed, somehow these people managed to rise up through the ranks of the officially employed employees.

Not too sure exactly where they were first employed, but logic says it had to be somewhere semi important.

Which leads me to wonder how, if they did indeed fudge a bit on their resumés, how then were they able to reach the heights needed to be considered for such hugely important tasks as completing the GCR global redo.

That had to take some doing.

Or quite a bit of the ol' "it's not what you know as much as it is who you know" going on.

That's not to say there wasn't also a bit of luck involved along the way.

People quitting, leaving with little warning, creating openings that needed to be filled last minute with very little notice.

 Along with a bit of planned obsolescence, combined with the usual turnover associated with any business and you can begin to see how a few folks might be able to squeeze through the cracks while remaining under the radar and slide up the employment ladder without much notice.

But an entire group of people, all of whom are basically assigned to complete one main task, all seriously inept and void of competency?

That's still a tough pill to swallow.

And yet, here we are.

And there they are, for all we know fully preparing to go on yet another year-ending Holiday vacation.

All while the rest of the world continues to dangle ever so dangerously on the edge of a colossal cliff.

An absurdly high, rock filled, moss covered, straight up slope of scary proportions.

Teetering on the edge of a cliff the likes of which the world has never seen.

And there they are, acting all like whatever, no biggie.

C'est la vie, it is what it is.

Let the world crash, we'll still have our jobs in one form or another.

Different cubicle but nevertheless still employed.

At least it seems that way anyway.

Sure, we continue to hear lots of rumors of them supposedly being in a hurry, working feverishly to bring this thing to closure prior to a global crash, but to be honest, I'm not seeing a whole lot of evidence to back it up.

Yes, there have been a few banking infrastructure changes over the past couple years.

I'll give 'em that.

A few altercations... oops, I mean alterations in trade agreements with other countries.

But nothing concrete.

Nothing that says beyond a doubt this "change" or that "action" is directly connected to the completion of the GCR process, leading to what we all want, the actual release of the asset-backed USN.

And honestly, at this point, that's pretty much all I'm looking for.

That's where my focus is these days.

 On the release.

The "GO" signal.

Something that tells (as well as shows) me that once and for all we've finally gone asset-backed and we've made the change.

That's when I'll begin to get excited.

When I know my appointment at the Exchange Center is only a few short days away.

Until that day comes, I'm going to continue to hope they send out more than a few pink slips.

A bunch of "Enjoy your weekend... don't bother coming back on Monday!" emails being sent out.

Followed by a flood of job opening listings flooding all the internet sites leading to a long line of possible replacement recruits.

It's time to face facts.

The folks responsible for getting this GCR done ain't gettin' it done.

Because despite all the rumors of it being done, it ain't done.

Otherwise we'd be done reading the rumors and instead we'd be off making the world a better place for all involved.

So let's continue to hang in there folks.

You never know, perhaps this message will help light a fire under whomever's butt needs a nudge.

Even better, maybe it will send a message to the Head of Butt Nudging and he or she will send a mass email to all concerned.

Either way, I feel better knowing I did my fair share to shed a bit of light on a glaringly obvious problem.

And while I'm at it, I'd be remiss if I didn't send a quick shoutout to my Brother in Law for making the most of his quarantine lockdown time by graduating in the top 99.8% of his class and receiving his (printable) online IT degree from ITT University.

It's amazing what can be achieved over a years time, putting in 4 short hours per week combined with 12 easy payments of $49.99 per month.

Hmmm... come to think of it, let's hope that if by some strange set of circumstances an opportunity does open up in the GCR release crew, that they keep my Brother in Law in mind.

Despite his more than likely being extremely overqualified for the position, I'm fairly certain he would entertain the offer and indeed consider it an honor to even be considered for such an important mission.

Anyway, please continue to hang in there folks.

This ride's gotten a little crazy and we don't wanna be blindsided by the insanity.

Kindly,   Dr. Dinar

Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, nor am I an ITT University recruiter. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.

 From Recaps Archives

"Humor While We Wait" By Sabickford 7-27-2021

Humor While We wait…..From Markz’s Chat

Sabickford:  I'll tell you why I can't lose Weight. I've got Metal Fillings in my teeth and the Refrigerator Magnets keep pulling me into the Kitchen.

I May not have lost all of my marbles just yet, but there is definitely a small hole in the bag somewhere.

If you see me smiling it's because I'm thinking of doing something naughty. If you see me laughing, I've done it already.

I told my Job that 3 companies were after me and I needed a raise. My Boss asked what companies? I said Power, Electric, and Gas.

Confuse your Doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.

If you could read my mind you'd back away slowly - Then run for your life!

I'll have a Café Mocha Vodka Valium Latte to go Please.

Out of all my body parts my eyeballs are in the best shape because I roll them like 342 times a day.

My body is a Temple. Ancient and Crumbling. Probably Cursed or Haunted.

It takes real skill to Choke on air, fall up stairs, and trip over completely nothing. I Have that skill.

Technically If you don't cut a cake and eat the whole thing with a fork, you still only had one piece.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she'd been with. She said yes - all the others were nines and tens….

When your Happy and you know it - It's Your Meds!!

Good Morning to Everyone, except those people who don't gain weight when they eat whatever they want.

Tomorrow is National stay at home with your dog and drink wine day. It's nothing official, I made it up. Tell the others.

There's no need to drive me crazy. I'm close enough to Walk!

Say no to Childhood Obesity! Eat your children's chocolate eggs now!

I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

I thought the Dryer made my clothes shrink, Turns out it was the refrigerator.

I want to lose weight, But I don't want to get caught up in one of those "Eat Right and Exercise" Scams.

Behind every Angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong!

Normal is Overrated. I will see your crazy and raise you demented.

Last night, my neighbor came home drunk & banged on his own door for 5 Min. Problem is, he lives alone. I went over and told him He wasn't there, so he left.

Just once in my life I'd like to see a liars pants catch on fire.

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, You are probably holding the Taser wrong.

Food for Thought - Wouldn't it be ironic if Popeye's Chicken were fried in Olive Oil?

I want a closed casket Funeral. However, towards the end of the service I want the organist to play "Pop Goes the Weasel" over and over until everyone in attendance is staring at my coffin with silent, horrified anticipation.

A guy wants a divorce. He tell the judge, "I just can't take it anymore. Every night she's out until way after Midnight just going from Bar to Bar." Judge Asks, "What's she doing?" The guy answers, "Looking for me."

I asked my Grandpa, "After 65 years you still call Grandma Darling, Beautiful, and Honey. What's the secret?" He said "I Forgot her name 5 Years ago and I'm Afraid to ask her!"

Life was simpler when Apple and Blackberry were Just Fruits and the Amazon was just a River

Taking a dog named Shark to the beach is a very bad idea.

I was watching this guy who apparently forgot where he parked his car. He kept putting his remote in the air, and every time he squeezed it …I honked my horn.

Crap! Now the voices in my head have learned Sign Language

Did you know on the Canary Islands There is not one Canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same Thing - Not one Canary There.

Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 sec. in my head, That'll freak you right out!!!

To the teenager who flipped me off for honking at them, Your Cell Phone is on top of your car!

If you look close enough, that High Horse some people are riding is actually a Donkey!

Before you try to hurt my feelings, Take into account that I don't have any, and you probably do.

I've been A lot of places but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go alone, you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've never been in Cognito either. I hear nobody recognizes you there. I have however been in Sane, They don't have a airport there, you have to be driven. I have made several Trips.

After winning the game I decided to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV. Apparently this is unacceptable in Bowling.

You are dust and will return to dust…That's why I don't dust. It might be someone I Know.

When a Woman says "Correct me if I'm Wrong." Do not under any, I mean ANY Circumstances do it!!

There are so many scams on the Internet these days....but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them

Whenever I pass someone texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window.

I want to go to IKEA, hide in a wardrobe, wait for someone to open it and yell "WELCOME TO NARNIA".

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

That mmoent you mqke a post and u relise that u speled half the words rong and u lok stupid.

I send flowers "From Steve" to my neighbors wife every Friday Night, then watch them fight from my living room windows eating popcorn.

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: “Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises”.

So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response.

Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket. You know you're not gonna win, but you're sure as hell gonna try.

"When Dogs Can Fly" by Dr. Dinar

When Dogs Can Fly by Dr. Dinar

Well, they did say it would get crazy at the end.

And if you don't think things are getting crazy, then you're living in an entirely different reality than I am.

Although I will admit it's been crazy for quite some time now.

Like about the last 10 years or so.

At least that's the way it seems anyway.

And we were always hoping it was the end but alas, it wasn't.

Nope, not even close to the end.

For as long as I can recall we've been hearing some of the craziest stuff one can imagine.

But it's not like what we have going on right now.

Especially not on such an all-encompassing global scale.

It's as if the two "Stephens", both King and Spielberg, got together to collaborate on a mind blowing mashup in tribute to Gene Roddenberry.

We often hear the saying "You can't make this shtuff up."

Yet, it's more than obvious they can. And do.

Consistently, on a week to week, month by month, basis.

It seems as if they're never at a loss for crazy.

Back in the day it was all about Iraq and the seating of their government.

That game of musical chairs has gone on for years, one regurgitated article after another.

Occasionally they'd get so ahead of themselves that they'd forget to change the date and once their cover was blown, they'd be forced to create an even bigger lie to outdo their previous ridiculousness, hoping to conceal the unreal.

All the while banking on a serious lack of attention span on the part of your everyday currency holder.

Like a runaway freight train that's lost its Engineer, everyone asleep at the wheel.

They'd simply allow it to run its course until they could imagineer the next latest, greatest delay.

Yet another hitch in a long list of glitches that would once again prevent Iraq from ever reaching a point of posting anything in the Gazette.

Even crazier yet, they've pretty much come full circle with their current cast of characters.

Almost all of these folks currently in the articles are all the same names from the past.

Talk about an unforgettable flashback.

Although back then Sadr was the ultimate bad guy, always threatening to have all of "his" people riot if they didn't get things done ASAP.

By "things" I'm referring to laws passed, Budget revealed, HCL implemented, Article 140, Erbil, Arbil, Gerbil whatevered.

The list goes on, add infinitum.

Then post it in the Gazette, announce it in the Mosques and RV the IQD.

The only thing I see as currently missing is the announcement that Talibani, Barzani, Maliki and Shabibi have been spotted at Baghdad Country Club sneaking out for a quick 18 holes before they release the Budget.

That will be the confirmation, for me at least, that they too have reached an entirely new level of crazium.

So here we are, some 10 years later, not knowing for certain if any of that is, has, or ever will be accomplished.

Likely we never will.

But one thing we do know is none of that matters.

Nope, not a factor in any of this RV/GCR process.

They can and will continue to do whatever they do as they twitter... oops, I mean twittle their thumbs, waiting for the official "GO" signal.

Just like the rest of us, waiting impatiently in the queue.

Matter of fact, I'll bet they're all equally as amazed at just how everything is playing out on a global scale and have plenty of popcorn on hand.

I mean, who could've even begun to imagine all that's currently going on.

We've successfully navigated through a myriad of misconceptions throughout the years but nothing even comes close to what we're dealing with right now.

For those that have only been around for the past 5 or so years, although you might have missed out on most of the Iraq outrageousness that used to serve as our daily dose of crazium, you've managed to get up close and personal with plenty of lunacy.

They've done their very best to not only match but to surpass the previous level of impossibilities.

From Clones wearing gold ties and ankle boots on their feet to security Drones to Aliens conducting NDA... oops, I mean DNA probes while they laser-off our fingerprints.

It's been crazy, personified.

And yet, here we sit, not really remembering any of that.

Things seem to have taken on a surreal feeling.

It's almost like an out of body kinda thing.

It's as if we're watching this whole thing play out but not actually experiencing it for real.

Could that be because I've become so jaded after all these years of nothing coming true.

Or could it be the exact opposite.

Because I'm beginning to see so many of the rumors of our past actually playing out right before my very eyes.

So many things that I just about threw my neck out shaking my head from side to side in sheer disbelief when I first heard them, now coming forth as reality.

I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong.

And lemme tell ya', I've been wrong on more than a few occasions during this seemingly never ending journey.

I've been forced to open my mind to the possibility of their implementing an entirely new banking system.

Which I've always felt was needed but wasn't entirely convinced was possible.

And yet, welcome to the QFS.

Consider me convinced.

Same with the whole "rates" thing as well.

No, I'm not a believer in these so called "Contract" rates being anything us regular folks will ever be near or dear to.

While they might be a reality for the higher-up's, I seriously doubt they will be a factor at our level.

But neither am I a believer in the $0.10 rate that had everyone so excited a mere decade ago.

I guess I'm more middle-of-the-road, believing we'll do very well.

Whatever that means.

Speaking of opening my mind, if you've been around for half a decade or so then you'll surely remember Zap and his Flying Purple Pig "Snuffles".

Part of his weekly updates.

And by "updates", I mean rebuttals as he continually received plenty of flak for his predictions that never materialized.

Welcome Zap, join the crowd.

Up to this point, everybody's been wrong.

It goes without saying Zap's a lively character and I believe he's still out there somewhere.

Through no fault of his own he truly thought he had a handle on how things were going and where we stood in the world's slowest rollout.

Unfortunately he wasn't any closer than anyone else on the GCR Guesstimation Gauge.

Had he been, we'd already be oot 'n aboot, enjoying the "Pay It Forward" lifestyle that we're all looking oh so forward to.

Who knows, with all the other outrageous stuff that's come true after all these years I won't be the least bit surprised to get word of a Flying Purple Pig sighting in the near future.

Even better yet, I'd love to see a Flying Dog or two land on my window sill.

I'll bet they could slide in under the recently imposed travel restrictions.

That could very well be the missing sign we're all so anxiously awaiting.

The tipping point.

The signal telling us we've finally reached the necessary level of crazy.

Crazy enough for them to finally release the RV/GCR.

Buckle up folks because things could get a bit bumpy.

While I don't believe we've actually reached maximum crazium level just yet, one can't help but be extra encouraged by the level of crazy we're now experiencing.

We've got to be getting close.

Please don't bail out now.

You've made it this far, you can make it to the finish line.

Kindly,

Dr. Dinar

Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, nor am I in any way connected to Wall St., the NASDAQ, the Stock Market, day trading, nor am I the owner of a Flying Dog-Bird. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.

News, Rumors and Humor Thursday Night 7-8-2021

TNT:

Tishwash:  IYAD ALLAWI: IRAQ IS NO LONGER A PRIORITY FOR THE UNITED STATES

ALSharqiya, July 8: Former Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi said that the United States removed Iraq from its list of foreign priorities and put it on the sidelines because it was fed up with its problems over the previous years.

Allawi revealed, during a program with the three, about the visit of a delegation from Biden's team to Baghdad last week to assess the situation, noting that the members of the delegation confirmed that Washington was tired of Iraq's complex and linguistic situation   link

Cutebwoy:  just saying Remember to watch the 7/15/21 date with all this talk coming out of iraq now about white paper implementation .

Tishwash:  Al-Kazemi's advisor: Announcing the actual implementation of the white paper soon

The economic advisor to the Prime Minister, Alaa Abdel Hussein, confirmed that the actual implementation of the white paper will soon be announced, while noting that there are central and sub-committees to implement it .

Abdul Hussein said in a televised statement, today, Wednesday, that "Iraq over the past decades has suffered from economic problems," noting that "the Iraqi economy has gone through several stages, which made it rentier and dependent on oil ."

He added, "There is an increase in population growth by 3% annually and our resources are limited," noting that "the white paper included analyzing and diagnosing economic problems and identifying effective solutions ."

He continued, "We are working with various ministries to identify projects for the official announcement of the actual implementation of the white paper," stressing, "Very soon, the actual implementation of the white paper will be announced ."

He pointed out that "there are central and sub-committees to implement the white paper," noting that "the projects mentioned in the white paper are of a professional, not political, character ."   link 

***********

Courtesy of Dinar Guru

Frank26  Iraq will either go 1 to 1 internally or they will un-peg from the American dollar and they will float their currency on par with the American dollar...They aren't gonna stop at 1 to 1.  They don't want to be a worthless American dollar's worth.  Saudi Arabia what are you worth against the American dollar?  3 what!?!  Geez Louise!  You think Iraq's gonna stand for that? ...so they will either be 1 to 1 and stay like that - I doubt it.  They'll un-peg more than likely, go on par with their assets backing up their currency, take it out to a float...

Militiaman I'm looking forward to seeing if the 2021 budget is exposed to the program rate. I don't believe it will be. A lot of people suggest that it is cut in stone and that's the way it's going to be for a year. I don't believe in that...because...the amount of money that is going to be made in the country is going to be astronomical ...we're getting ready to explode. I'm actually very excited...

***********

Holly Third Update Thursday 7-8-2021

Just did a call and we are still being told the F&Ps are to go by tomorrow.

I was also told that all interest and back taxes going back to 1940 will in fact be refunded.

Taxes will cease once Nesara is announced

Humor While We Wait: 

Sabickford:  If you boil a Funny Bone it becomes a Laughing Stock. That's Humerus.

Roadside Sobriety tests are getting ridiculous. Last night I had to fold a Fitted Sheet.

Everybody has a washboard stomach - Mine just happens to have a load of laundry on top.

My Mind is Exceptionally Quiet - I'm Suspicious that I'm up to something I don't want myself to know about.

What’s the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? One requires Tweetment and the other requires Oinkment.

I'm so old I remember when a "Hashtag" was called a pound sign. And We played Tic-Tac-Toe on that stuff.

Another Wine Bottle with no Genie at the Bottom. I'll Keep Trying!.

When is this "Old enough to know Better" Supposed to Kick In?

I am one step away from being Rich!!! Now All I need is the Money!

My Mood ring is missing and I don't know how to feel about that!

That Awkward moment when a Zombie is looking for Brains and walks right By you.

I'm going to try and act like a normal, Happy, Mentally Balanced Person Today… WISH ME LUCK!

I'm not self-medicating with Chocolate. The Lady at the shop wrote me a prescription… Well, she called it a receipt. Whatever.

I wish all the extra fat on my body would fall off and turn into money. Anyone Else?

The first million people to send me $1.00 will get my guide on how to become a Millionaire on Facebook

My Doctor told me I really need to start watching my drinking so I am off to find a bar with a mirror.

I've done some terrible things for money like getting up early to go to work!!

Interviewer: "So Tell me about yourself." Me: "I'd rather not, I kind of need this job."

I don't think inside the box. I don't think outside the box either. I don't even know where the box is!

If you Eat well, and get LOTS of Sleep…And Exercise, and Drink Lots of Water…You'll die anyway. Open the Wine!!!

I'm still waiting patiently for the wisdom that supposedly comes with old age. Anyone Else?

Humor While We Wait....Saturday Night 6-19-2021

Humor While We wait

Sabickford:  Whoever said "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" never had a spider disappear in the bedroom.

Me: I thought Juice Cleanses were good for you. Doctor: Drinking Mimosa's and Bloody Mary's for three days straight aren't a Juice Cleanse.

I accidentally wore a red shirt into Target today and to make a long story short, This Saturday I'm covering for Debbie.

Due to rising costs, dirty deeds are no longer done dirt cheap. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Starbucks is planning on selling Beer and Wine. Apparently it's almost impossible to sell a sober person a $12 cup of coffee.

TNT: Fathers Day Humor

Mot:  ~~ This Mornning He Said His Ear Hurt -----

Mot:  ~~~ Happy Fathers Day to -----

Mot: ~~~ Five Rules fur Men to Follow ----

Mot:  ~~~ Took My Dad to the Mall the other Day ---

Mot: ~~~ Gramps Rules!! ~~~

More Humor While We Are Still Waiting....Might as Well Laugh!

Humor While We Wait:

Sabickford:  Ignorance can be trained and Crazy can be medicated… But there's no cure for stupid.

You know nothing about a woman until she is drunk and mad at you

I don 't like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else about what come's out of my mouth.

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect

I know what women want. They want you to drag them to the bedroom, throw them on the bed, and do dirty dishes while they take a nap.

It's a SCIENTIFIC Fact: Never tell a woman that she's crazy unless you really want to see crazy.

Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone or have been affected by someone who needs a smack upside the head. Let's raise awareness.

My Parents Spanked me as a Child. As a result I now suffer a psychological condition known as "Respect For Others".

The phrase "Ignore is and it will go away." does not apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars. Trust me on this one.

Here's my resignation from adulthood. From now on all decisions will be made by rock, paper, scissors, and all arguments will be handled by sticking my tongue out at the other person…..

I hate it when you offer someone a sincere complement on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

Being a man is being able to do what I want when I want and not having to … Hell She's coming!!! To be continued.

f I was a JEDI there would be 100% chance that I would use the force inappropriately

I spent my entire childhood wishing that I was older. Now that I'm older this stuff sucks.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions

I 've been hiding from exercise. I'm in a fitness protection program.

Old People at weddings always poke me and say "You're Next!" So I started doing the same thing to them at Funerals.

I'm the kind of friend that will help you hide a dead body. But if you Betray me, remember I know how to hide a dead body.

The cashier said Strip down, facing me. How was I to know she meant my debit card?

If you say "GULLIBLE" slowly it sounds like "ORANGES" (You did it didn't you)

More Humor While we wait:  From Recaps Archives

Subject: PLACES TO RETIRE
 
You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where

1.  You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2.  You've experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3.  You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4.  You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5.  You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6.  The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
 
OR

You can retire to California where...

1.  You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2.  The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3.  You know how to eat an artichoke.
4.  When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 
5.  The four seasons are:  Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.

OR

You can retire to New York City where...

1   You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2.  You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3.  You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5.  You've worn out a car horn.  (IF you have a car.)
6.  You think eye contact is an act of aggression

OR

You can retire to Wisconsin where...

1.  You only have three spices:  salt, pepper and ketchup.
2.  Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3.  You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4.  Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5.  The four seasons are:  almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair. 
6.  The highest level of criticism is "He is different,"  "She is different," or "It was different!"
7.  A five foot blonde who weighs 180 lbs is considered anorexic.
 
 OR

You can retire to The Deep South where...

1.  You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2  "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3.  "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4.  Everyone has two first names:  Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5.  Everything is either:  "in yonder,"  "over yonder"  or "out yonder."
6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his heart" at the end!
 OR

You can move to Colorado where...

1.  You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2.  You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
3.  A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4.  The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

OR

You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where...  

1.  You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2.  Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3.  You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4.  You end sentences with a preposition;  "Where's my coat at?" 
 
OR

FINALLY you can retire to Florida where...

1.  You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2.  All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3.  Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.
4.  Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5.  Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
 
OR just stay where you are and complain about the same thing you complain about everyday..lol

Humor While We Wait....and Wait.....And Wait...........

Humor while we wait.

Those Questions No One Can Answer

Why does rain drop and snow falls?

What disease did cured ham have?

What's the difference between unique and very unique?

When do you become important enough to be considered assassinated and not just murdered?

Can you cry under water?

Who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box?

Why did we put a man on the moon before we realized it would be a good idea to make luggage with wheels?

Why are actors IN movies but ON television?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast?

Why does grass grow where you do not want it and not grow where you do?

Why do we say we slept like a baby when they wake up every two hours?

We put in our two cents, but only get a penny for our thoughts. Who gets the extra penny?

Why do we pay to get to the top of tall buildings, then pay to use binoculars to look at things on the ground?

If a deaf person goes to court, do they still call it a hearing?

What is a Japanese maple tree called in Japan?

We say, "It's Greek to me." What do the Greeks say?

If we don't care that Jimmy cracked corn, why do we still sing about it?

Why does Goofy stand upright and Pluto stands on all four feet? They're both dogs.

Why does "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and "The Alphabet Song" have the same tune?

On Gilligan's Island, the professor could make a radio out of a coconut. Why couldn't he fix the hole in the boat?

If Wile E. Coyote has enough money to buy all that stuff from ACME, why doesn't he just buy himself dinner?

Why does a dog get mad at you if you blow in his face, but then stick his head out the window when you take him for a car ride?

Why do they call it a rest room when you’re not there to rest?

Why do they call it a tooth brush and not a teeth brush?

Why is it a flock of birds but a gaggle of geese?

Why do the call a rabbits foot lucky? not lucky for the rabbit and he had 4

A Good Deed

A man tries to enter heaven but there are some criteria to be met before entry is allowed. St. Peter asked several questions. Was he religious in life? Did he attend church? Was he generous? Did he give money to the poor, to charities? Did he do any good deeds? Did he help his neighbor?

The man answered each question, "No".

Exasperated, St. Peter says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Now think!"

The man says, "I came out of a store and found a little old lady surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her, taunting and abusing her. I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought my way through the crowd and got her purse back. I helped her to her feet. Then I went up to the biggest, meanest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then I spit in his face."

"Wow, said St. Peter, "That's impressive. When did this happen?"

"Oh, about ten minutes ago"

************

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE (Have you Smiled Today?)

NICKNAMES

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and  Sarah.

• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

• A man has six items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .

• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

• A woman has the last word in any argument.

• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a  book, and get the mail.

• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals..

NATURAL

• Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.

• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

• Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about  dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humour and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.