"Kicks and Grins" Posted by Mot at TNT Sunday Night

TNT:

Mot:  They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…......

My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...

~~~~~~~

I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

~~~~~~

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.

My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

~~~~~~

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

~~~~~~

The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with a co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....

~~~~~~

When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a
service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT!

They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…....

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Mot:  WHAT IT MEANS TO BE IN AN IRISH FAMILY........

1)  You will never play professional basketball.

2)  You swear very well.

3)  At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral
home owner or holds political office.  And you have at least one aunt
who is a nun or an uncle who is a priest.

4)  You think you sing very well.

5)  There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper and
killing someone.

6)  Many of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a
mortal sin.

7)   You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer.

8)  You're strangely poetic after a few beers.

9)  Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named  Mary, Catherine or
Eileen...and there is at least one member of your family with the full
name...Mary Catherine Eileen

10)  Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.

11)  You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.

12)  There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your
last keg party.

13)  You are, or know someone, named Murph.

14)  If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac. If you don't know
Murph or Mac, then you must know Sully.

15)  'Irish Stew' is a euphemism for 'boiled leftovers.'

16)  Your skin's ability to tan.... ah....not so much.

17)  Childhood remedies for the common cold often included some form
of whiskey.

18)  There is no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at
least........Forty-Five minutes.

19)  At this very moment, you have at least two relatives. who are not
speaking to each other.........Not fighting, mind you, just not
speaking to each other.

Mot:  Two Women from Ireland ...

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar.  After a while one looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from  Ireland .

The other woman responds proudly, “Yes, I sure am!”

The first one says, “So am I!  And where about in Ireland are ya from?

The other woman answers, “I’m from  St. John’s , I am.”

The first one responds, “So, am I!  And what street did you live on?”

The other woman says, “A lovely little area it was in the west end.  I lived on  Warbury Street in the old central part of town.” 

The first one says, “Faith and it’s a small world.  So did I!  So did I!  And what school did ya go to?”

The other woman answers, “Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.” 

The first one gets really excited and says, “And so did I.  Tell me, what year did you graduate?”

The other woman answers, “Well, now, let’s see.  I graduated in 1964.”

The first woman exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us!  I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight.  Can you believe it!  I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self.

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer. 

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael, shaking his head and mutters, “It’s going to be a long night tonight.”

Michael asks, “Why do you say that, Brian?”

Brian answers, “The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

**********

Mot:  aaaahhhhhhh - More of Those Helpful Hints fur Marital Bliss!! ~~

Mot: --- Really! - I Am usually Very Humble - But ~~~

Humor While We Wait...and Wait....and Wait...Saturday Night

Humor While We Wait:

Some of Sabickford’s Greatest Hits:

I hate when people accuse me of lolly gagging when I'm quite clearly dilly dallying

You can exercise all you want but you'll never going to burn that crazy off.

Before you ask me to babysit I think you should know that I think kids are super funny when they're drunk.

IMMATURE: A word often used by extremely boring people to describe fun people.

At Times I'm Grateful that thoughts don't appear in bubbles over our heads.

Without Stupid People we would have no one to laugh at. Take the time and thank a Stupid person for their contribution.

Relationships are like a walk in the park - Jurassic Park

They say it's better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?

Don't be afraid of being outnumbered. Remember Eagles fly alone. Pigeons flock together.

My soulmate is out there somewhere, pushing a pull door. I just know it.

I'm not much on Seizing the Day, I just poke at it with a stick.

New disease “Idiotitis” the brain shuts down but the mouth keeps talking……..

The hardest part of parenting is trying to fake mad when your kid does something bad but Hilarious.

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”-George Carlin

I grew a beard thinking it would say "Distinguished Gentleman." Instead, turns out it says, "Senior Discount, Please!"

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Whenever I pass someone texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window.

That mmoent you mqke a post and u relise that u speled half the words rong and u lok stupid.

Before you try to hurt my feelings, Take into account that I don't have any, and you probably do.

When a Woman says "Correct me if I'm Wrong." Do not under any, I mean ANY Circumstances do it!!

You are dust and will return to dust…That's why I don't dust. It might be someone I Know.

Dear Santa, I've been good all year. Most of the time. Once in awhile. Never Mind I'll buy my own stuff.

To the teenager who flipped me off for honking at them, Your Cell Phone is on top of your car!

After winning the game I decided to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV. Apparently this is unacceptable in Bowling.

I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12 and my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet.

I've been A lot of places but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go alone, you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've never been in Cognito either. I hear nobody recognizes you there. I have however been in Sane, They don't have an airport there, you have to be driven. I have made several Trips.

I picked up a Hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger and asked " Thanks, but why would you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?" I told him the chances of two serial killers being in the one car are astronomical.

Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 sec. in my head, That'll freak you right out!!!

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, You are probably holding the Taser wrong.

Last night, my neighbor came home drunk & banged on his own door for 5 Min. Problem is, he lives alone. I went over and told him He wasn't there, so he left.

I told my Job that 3 companies were after me and I needed a raise. My Boss asked what companies? I said Power, Electric, and Gas.

So Many Village Idiots - So Few Dragons!

Today, I will be as Useless as the "G" in Lasagna.

Friend: Could you be any more annoying? Me: I've been waiting my whole life for this question…Yes, Oh God, YES!!!

*****************

"You'll See It When You Believe It" By Dr. Dinar

You'll See It When You Believe It by Dr. Dinar

Good evening!

Well, it is evening.

And it's great to be alive.

Unfortunately, like many of you, my Bank account is still runnin' on empty.

Which isn't so great.

Not that I'm surprised.

Sure, all week long we've been hearing that this is our week.

Actually since last week we've been hearing that THIS will be our week.

What am I thinking.

We've been hearing the very same thing for many many years now.

That we're in the window, it has to happen now, everybody (except of course the Bad Guys) wants it to happen now.

It HAS TO happen now, or else this or that will happen.

And if this or that happens, then that will be really bad and "they" (whomever they are) don't want this or that bad thing to happen, so they will definitely do it this week so this and that doesn't happen.

Well, they didn't do it.

It didn't happen.

So, shockingly enough, this and that IS (are?) happening.

Which makes one wonder, even though we continue to hear they don't want this and that to happen and are supposedly doing everything possible to avoid this and that happening, perhaps they actually do want all this and that bad stuff to happen.

What is this, like Day 5 of the 2008 Stock Market Meltdown Flashback.

Back to a time when the markets crumbled so horribly that many, like myself, still have yet to recover.

Sure, they threw tons of money at the Banks to keep that shaky House of Cards visibly afloat.

And as difficult as it is to believe, they've managed to keep that facade floating for over a decade now.

Perhaps you can get a pig to hold still long enough to apply lipstick to it after all.

Worked for Arnold Ziffel, so why not the entire Banking industry.

In reality, that charade will have to end at some point.

You can only throw so much bad money after bad before you run out bad money to throw.

And what will happen when the smoke dissipates and the entire world finds out that nothing was ever fixed.

Nothing was ever made better.

No problems were ever solved.

They were simply covered in cotton candy and all that candy melted.

And when it melted, it did so in global proportions.

One thing's for certain, it won't be pretty.

And eyes will be opened to the magnitude of all that's been going on for far too long.

Which brings me back to my original thoughts behind this post.

That being the RV/GCR and how it relates to all of this global meltdown stuff.

For better or worse, I'm still a believer.

I believe the GCR will happen.

And when it does, the RV will be included in the soon after.

I have absolutely no idea when but I do believe it will.

The question for me now is when it does happen, will I actually believe it has happened.

And that it's okay to finally get a bit excited.

After hearing that it's about to happen, on the verge of happening and yet nothing ever happens, for far too many years, I'm not so sure I'm gonna believe it when it really does happen for real.

Even if I were to see it.

And that makes me a bit nervous.

Will I miss the Cash-Out... oops, I mean EXCHANGE window?

Or will I sleep right through the entire process, refusing to get duped yet again.

I certainly hope not.

Crazy as it may seem I'm not at all sure of what it's going to take to convince me that the release is real.

Will it be released at night?

Why not during the day?

Are weekends better?

What about during the week when all the Banks are open.

Do all the Banks need to be open?

Or should they be closed during that illustrious Saturday night "all Banks are closed" window.

All we know is that it's always 5:00 somewhere.

And the release will happen on a day ending in "Y".

Beyond that, the release date is anybody's guess.

I don't think even those that are supposedly releasing this thing have any idea of when that will be.

I doubt we'll ever get any sort of advanced notice.

None that we'll ever believe anyway.

Which, on one hand, I completely understand.

If they were to announce anything in advance, that would make this whole thing appear as if it's real.

And they can't have that happening.

And I get that.

People would scurry to buy each and every piece of "basket-worthy" currency available.

But on the other hand, it makes little to no sense at all.

It would seem to me that they'd want to eliminate the pandemonium that's been created by all of the "get to the Bank ASAP so you don't miss out on your 10 day cash-out window" hype that's been floating around Dinarland for far too long.

If you were around maybe 8 or 9 years ago then you'll surely recall all of the trouble caused by the folks stating week after week that beyond a doubt "This will be your LAST BROKE FRIDAY!"

Sure enough, first thing Monday morning numerous Bank parking lots across the country were filled with busloads of folks banging on the glass doors, demanding to be "Cashed Out".

Claiming that a certain well known Guru had promised them on Friday that the RV was going to happen over the weekend and they could simply show up at the Bank first thing Monday morning, dinar in hand.

Needless to say the Banks were on fire!

And rightfully so.

From that point on the Banks started their Recorded Ridiculousness Campaign stating "We never have, never will, not now, not ever, never, have anything to do with the dinar" followed by a loud "Click!".

Only problem with that was many of us had purchased our first dinar from those very same Banks.

So we weren't as easily swayed as others that were to arrive later in the game.

Yet, with the way things are headed, with a long rumored short exchange period looming, seems to me they're heading in the same direction.

Should they clarify things just a bit better, as far as the slowest roll-out in history is to play out.

Not only for our benefit but for theirs as well.

Hmmmm... I'm not sure.

Yes, it would be nice but at the same time, it might open up an entirely new can of worms.

Which at this point would likely be twisted into yet another delay.

The last thing we need right now is another last ditch hitch or glitch to slow this thing down any further..

So I guess all we can do is roll with it.

To wait it out.

I don't believe they think we're simply going to fade away.

It's much too late for them to hope for that at this point.

Even if they do, good luck with that.

No way us Toothless Crackheads are giving up that easily.

Right!?!

We've come much too far to bail out now.

We have to see this thing through 'til the end.

Even if we don't recognize the actual "end" when we see it.

Perhaps it's what Churchill meant when he said "This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning".

Whether it's the end or the beginning or somewhere in between, I only hope that it's closer to the end than it is the beginning because honestly, I'm pretty much done with this thing.

This adventure lost most of its allure many years ago.

At this point it's a seemingly endless, cuticle grinding, uphill marathon and I feel like Forrest Gump in the middle of the desert.

I'm worn out.

I'm tired.

I just want to cross the finish line and get rolling on my new "Pay It Forward" path.

I feel as if I've been in a time loop for the past decade and I'm ready to jump off this mind altering Merry-Go-Round before I lose my cookies.

Please continue to keep your eyes peeled for a sign.

A signal of some sort.

Something that will finally convince us that this part or the journey is over and that we can finally begin our new lives.

Lives filled with hope.

Filled with dreams.

Dreams of enriching the lives of others.

It's gonna happen.

I can only hope we believe it when we see it.

Kindly,

Dr. Dinar

Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, nor am I the owner of a vintage Bi-Plane, an old Crop Duster, nor a very large "tow-behind" banner. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.

"Kicks and Grins" Posted by Mot at TNT Friday Night

Mot: The Pastor's Cat

This particular story just made me laugh. Every time I think about it, the vision of that poor cat just amuses me to no end. Whoever said the Creator doesn't have a sense of humor?

Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.

The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.

That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke.

The tree went 'boing!' and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of sight.

The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, 'Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,' and went on about his business.

A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?'

She replied, 'You won't believe this,' and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, 'Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it.'

She told the pastor, 'I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.'

Never underestimate the Power of God nor His unique sense of humor.

*************

Member: --- UH OH -- Grannie Help Raising the ""Wee Folks"" ~~~

You Know You're A  Grandma When You used to get angry at your children and now you laugh when your grandchildren do the same thing.

**************

Mot:  Good Ole Irish Logic......date night

Mot:  Recently at an Irish Wedding.......................

Mot:  Aaaaahhhhhhhhh -- Such Fond Memories! ~~~

Mot: You had one job

News, Rumors and Humor Saturday Night 2-26-2022

KTFA:

Samson:  After exiting from Chapter VII .. How much is Iraq’s frozen funds estimated?

25th February, 2022

After Iraq turned a decisive and fateful phase that lasted for years by paying compensation to Kuwait and exiting the procedures of Chapter VII, this opened the door to the movement of his frozen funds abroad whose value has not been known until now due to the policies of the former regime, including the registration of part of those the money is in the names of people, which is difficult to recover.

Specialists and economic experts confirmed that Iraq’s exit from Chapter VII will move those funds that Iraq has been demanding for years, to supplement the budget with amounts that can be invested in service projects, develop the agricultural, industrial and commercial sectors, and build a healthy economy.

Adviser to the Prime Minister, Mazhar Muhammad Salih, told the Iraqi News Agency (INA), that “there are Iraqi funds estimated at $2.7 billion pending lawsuits or judicial seizures made by commercial creditors on Iraq,” noting that “these funds are from Iraq’s foreign balances that were frozen in year 1990”.

He added that “UN Security Council Resolution No. 1483 in March 2003 demanded banks and international official bodies to release the frozen balances of Iraq and deposit them in the account of the Government of Iraq named (the Development Fund for Iraq DFI), which is open at the Federal Reserve Bank in New York, and the resolution excluded the seized or frozen funds at that time. Which belongs to Iraq and is subject to lawsuits at the time.”

While the economic expert and academic Ahmed Saddam confirmed to the Iraqi News Agency (INA), that “the issue of frozen funds and their recovery is a very difficult issue,” noting that “there are requests by the Ministry of Justice for multiple countries to retrieve that money.” Saddam expected that “the money officially registered in the name of the government will be recovered.

As for the money registered in the name of people, it is difficult to know the gender and source of this money, and it is difficult for foreign banks to disclose it.” He stressed “the need for there to be an economic policy towards how to exploit this money, especially in the field of projects that serve the Iraqi economy,” noting that “the value of this money is estimated at about one and a half billion dollars.”

He stressed that “there is no accurate statistics about this money, because in the period of the previous regime, this money was recorded in the names of companies and individuals,” noting that “there are sums of money smuggled abroad that can be estimated, according to the President of the Republic, Barham Salih, at up to 150 billion dollars annually since 2003 until today, and this indicates a major leakage of resources abroad.”

Kuwait compensation

Saddam explained that “the payment of Kuwait’s compensation amounting to 52 billion and 400 million dollars will allow more flexibility for the next budget,” explaining that “these allocated amounts can be transferred to investment and production projects, which is a new outlet for the next budget.”

While the economic expert, Basem Antoine, told the Iraqi News Agency (INA), that “there is a set of proposals regarding the amounts of Kuwait’s compensation, one of which is to go to a sovereign fund or for reconstruction or accumulate annually to form a reserve balance for Iraq, used during the deficit period.”

Regarding the frozen funds, he explained that “this money cannot be counted because it is dispersed, because the previous regime placed a lot of this money in various banks and it was discovered over time through the use of many human rights and economic companies,” explaining that “this money will be placed after its return in sovereign funds.”  

And he indicated that “there are large sums placed by the former regime in the names of people exceeding 30 to 40 people, with a value of no less than $500 million,” noting that “it is possible to benefit from and collect these funds to improve the living situation, build service projects, build infrastructure for the Iraqi people and develop the sector.” Agricultural, industrial and commercial, and reducing dependence on oil rents to build a sound economy, like the rest of the countries in the region.”

While the economic expert Salam Sumaisem told the Iraqi News Agency (INA), that “the state should follow a development approach to invest the money that was earmarked for Kuwait’s compensation in order to serve Iraq, especially since it succeeded in paying the value of the indebtedness from the resources available to us.” Sumaisem asked: “Can the 2022 budget be changed by changing these new available resources, and will the state follow development paths?”

And Foreign Minister Fouad Hussein announced that Iraq has exited from Chapter VII procedures, after paying all of its financial obligations, while stressing that Iraq is no longer required to pay any additional sums of money in the future. Hussein said in Iraq’s speech at the Security Council during the session devoted to hearing the briefing of the Chairman of the United Nations Compensation Committee, the Iraqi News Agency (INA), a copy of which received a copy, that “Iraq today is turning an important page of its history that lasted more than thirty years,” pointing to That “Iraq seeks to strengthen cooperation frameworks with the international community.” He added that “Iraq has paid the last payment in accordance with its financial obligations and paid the full amount of the due compensation,” stressing that “Iraq is no longer required to pay any additional amounts of money in the future.”

He pointed out that “the Iraqi government confirms that working with the United Nations Compensation Commission was a successful model for multilateral work,” noting that “Iraq continued to fulfill these obligations in full according to the timetables.”

 He explained that “the government of Iraq considers the full fulfillment of its international obligations towards the international community and the sisterly State of Kuwait as a great development,” noting that “Iraq has sought to complete this unique model to remove Iraq from all the procedures of Chapter VII.” And he added, “Iraq looks forward to the fact that closing this file will reflect positively on its regional and international relations,” adding: “We congratulate the Iraqi people and government for ending international obligations and for Iraq’s exit from Chapter VII procedures.”

The United Nations mission in Iraq confirmed that the Security Council had terminated the mandate of the Compensation Committee. And the mission stated in a tweet on “Twitter”, followed by the Iraqi News Agency (INA), that “a historic milestone for the people of Iraq today: the United Nations Security Council ends the mandate of the Compensation Commission regarding Iraq’s compensation to Kuwait.” 

And she added, “Iraq is to be commended for its great cooperation in fulfilling its obligations and showing good neighborliness.” The UN Security Council Resolution No. (2621) stipulated that Iraq exited from Chapter VII by fulfilling all its international obligations under Chapter VII, which resulted in its exit from Chapter VII with immediate effect, and the closure of the Iraqi Compensation Committee and Fund for Kuwait at the end of this year.  LINK

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Courtesy of Dinar Guru

Pimpy  As you are aware a lot of talk about the exchange rate.  Lots of it...there has been no news, none whatsoever that they plan on changing the exchange rate.  There was a lot of discussions about it...I was pretty excited about it I'll be honest with you but it's just talk right now.  We have no idea where it's going.  I was happy to see all the talk, that means it's on everybody's mind.  Sadr campaigned on it.  He's ordering people into hearings.  He's trying to do something about it but the truth of the matter is the Iraqi government doesn't control the rate change.  That's the governor of the Central Bank.  He makes his recommendations to parliament and they can vote on it.  Essentially it's up to the governor of the Central Bank or Iraq period.

Godlover  Article "Government official: 12/1 disbursement will continue until the end of the year, and the Presidency of Parliament requested a draft budget for 2022"  Question "Is it plausible that they seat the government soon...raise the value and use the time until the budget is approved...to monitor the float and make more informed plans for how the money will be spent?"  A rate change or a possible float, this will not happen prior to budget opening...You don’t spend a budget before it is even opened, otherwise what would the point be for a budget in the first place? lol.

TNT:

Tishwash:  Iraq.. Petty cash disbursement departments worth billions of dinars and suspicions of corruption hovering around them

Although two months have passed since the start of the new year and the 2022 budget has not been approved, this did not prevent ministries and departments from spending billions of dinars per month as chandeliers and to buy cars and furniture for them.

With the emergence of a document talking about the Martyrs Foundation's purchase of 11 cars for about one billion dinars, the Iraqi street was preoccupied with this deal in light of the government's continuous talk about austerity and facing a major financial crisis that only came out of it by raising the price of the dollar.

Sources confirm in an interview with "Mawazine News" that "state departments are still spending billions on buying furniture and purchasing supplies, mechanisms and wheels per month, by exploiting their resources and collection money."

And she adds, "These purchases and petty cash expenditures were not affected by the lack of approval of the budget or even government decisions to rationalize spending and spending and limit it to the ruling expenditures."

For his part, former Finance Committee member and current MP Jamal Cougar says, "As for the purchase of cars for government institutions, it is a natural matter and a context for all countries of the world to follow, with the possibility of corruption files in those contracts."

In an interview with Mawazine News, he added, "Citizens are now able to buy cars that are contracted by the state, and their prices are almost known, unless there are specifications for those cars that increase their value."

And he asserts, "Auditing these files requires proof, and it is not possible to talk about any file without knowing details such as the contracting party, the type and specifications of the wheels."  link

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Mot-- This Will Work fer Sure! ~~~

Mot-- Yeppers! -- I'm Sooooooo Ready!! ~~

Mot: --- Things that Make Ya Go -- Hmmmmmmmm ~~~college debt

Just for "Kicks and Grins" Posted by Mor at TNT 2-22-22

TNT:

Mot:  Now, looking at me, you wouldn’t know I can speak Mandarin ~~~ ((( oh How I Love Karma! )))

So I’m a white Caucasian female, but I am fluent in Mandarin Chinese and English. Now, looking at me, you wouldn’t know I can speak Mandarin, which is why I find it absolutely hysterical to mess with people. Especially when they come through my line at work speaking Chinese, and I understand every word they’re saying. My coworkers find it especially hysterical.

Okay, so the other day this Chinese couple came through my line, and I asked them (in English) all of the usual questions about bags and if they had their rewards cards, all of that fun stuff.

Anyway, I started ringing up their stuff, and the wife said to her husband, “Tell her not to bruise the bananas,” in Chinese and I didn’t say anything. Then the wife said, “Tell the stupid girl to go faster,” in Mandarin. I smiled at her and pretended like I had no idea what she was saying.

She kept commenting on how my hair was like a boy’s (I have short hair, it’s honestly not even that short) and how her grandfather would have gone faster than I was going, all of this in chinese.

And then she said, “Make sure she doesn’t forget the water,” in Chinese.

I replied in English, “I won’t forget the water.”

And I watched with enjoyment as a look of sheer terror spread across her face, as she realized I understood everything she had said before. She just stood there with her mouth open and her husband said (in Chinese), “This is why you shouldn’t trash talk employees while they’re standing right in front of you!”

I replied (in English), “He’s right, you know.”

They paid, then the husband apologized and left. After they walked out the door, my manager and coworker and I were laughing so hard.

Even though being a cashier sucks, it sometimes makes my day a little brighter when something like that happens.

**************

Mot: -- This Gym Thingy! - siggghhhh -- They Said to Join - but ~~~~

Mot: -- Yeppers! -- Finally Gave in and Went to the Gym! ~~~pandas

Mot: ... Don't Know Bout sum of These Internet Dieting Tips! ~~~

Mot: -- He Got the Call!! -- -- He Got the Call!! -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhO7wSAoQCI

News, Rumors and Humor Saturday Night 2-19-2022

KTFA:

Samson:  “Anti-Corruption”: Britain Includes 10 Billion Dollars Of Looted Iraqi Funds

19th February, 2022

A former member of the Anti-Corruption Council, Saeed Yassin, revealed on Saturday that there are 10 billion dollars of looted Iraqi funds in Britain, noting that countries are evading in meeting the requirements because these funds have been integrated into national economies.

Yassin said in a statement reported by the newspaper “Al-Sabah” and seen by “The Information”, that “Iraq has legal measures that it must take in pursuit of its looted funds, and according to the report of the Integrity Commission, which indicated that there are files to recover funds that were prepared for the claim, but we need inside Iraq. to legal and judicial procedures related to the quality of judgments.

He pointed out that “the need to know the addresses, residence and residence of the wanted persons inside and outside Iraq, and we also need to match the legal concepts between Iraq and the countries of the sanctuary for money, accused, convicts and wanted persons, and we also need to invest (the United Nations Convention against Corruption) with the states of the parties in addition to (the Arab Convention against Corruption). )

By concluding a framework agreement for countries and concluding bilateral agreements with the sanctuary countries in order to establish a recovery mechanism, because there are crimes criminalized in Iraq and the same crime is not criminalized in the sanctuary countries.”

He explained that “the countries evade meeting the requirements because these funds have been integrated into the national economies, which means that in the event of freezing, seizing and recovering these funds to Iraq, they will affect the economies of those countries, which requires Iraq in the event of seizure, freezing and approval to recover these funds from the countries.

That there be a timetable, and the most important thing is to register these funds in the name of Iraq, and then the stage of corruption returns comes, and this is important if these funds work and have returns in those countries.”

Yassin pointed out that “in the economic activities of these funds, there are returns that must be included in the recovery process, as we have the origin of the amount and the proceeds of this stolen amount.” He explained that “regardless of the countries, some of them were mentioned casually, including Britain, which is suspected of having ten billion dollars.” Of the looted Iraqi money as real estate, and the same is found in Jordan and Lebanon, and in the latter there is an economic collapse and the money that is to be recovered is affected.”

The expert and activist in the fight against corruption stressed, “Iraq’s need for international cooperation, in the sense of exchanging legal information and exchanging criminals, and before recovery, we need preventive measures on the movement of funds and filling legal loopholes in Iraq, including the legislation of the law of contracts, tenders and government procurement, not to be instructions, in addition to not setting an exception for any institution to conduct contracts without a commitment to competition and direct invitation to one party and not to several parties, that is, those contracts are referred to the private sector entities to compete.

Yassin noted, “the need to control remittances because there are suspicions that the money transferred abroad for import is not equivalent to the amount of goods supplied to Iraq,” and explains that “when remittances are $45 billion abroad for import, we monitor commodity revenue not equal to more than $15 billion.” 

He pointed out that “the need to know the shareholders of these companies from which imports are made and which operate inside Iraq, and who are the participants? And members of the board of directors, are they politicians of the rank of general manager or above? This is a task to open the issue of graft and apply the principle (where did you get this?).”   LINK

************

Courtesy of Dinar Guru

Frank26   [Iraq boots-on-the-ground TV report] FIREFLY:  CBI on the news...that they are the ones in control...of the exchange rate and not a political decision...it tends to say to us Iraqi citizens the CBI will make the final decision on the exchange rate sooner than later.  This is the 3rd time this week the CBI is saying that they are the ones in control of the rate... 

Bruce   [via WiserNow]   I was very excited because of the intel that came in yesterday and again re-enforced with today’s intel that we got...we had two different banks very high up lead banks...talk to us about a possibility of the 22nd  or 23rd...  I’m giving you what I’m getting – really strong this time...very specific – They’ve got that 3 day weekend they’ve talked about for years and years...We are looking good – Iraq is ready to rock and roll – they are really excited – I don’t know exactly when Iraq’s dinar will be internationally known – my gut is it might be Sunday...maybe sooner than that ...I’m excited about where we stand right now more than I have ever  been...I believe we are totally in the clear now for this to happen...

************

Iraqi Dinar update for 02/18/22 - did they reveal the rate today

Pimpy’s Investment Chat:  Feb 19, 2022

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBuGsDxnfo0

Humor while we wait: 

Sabickford:  Kids Today: "OMG my parents never let me have anything!" sent by iPhone

I don't always rub Liberals the wrong way But When I do it's on purpose and I enjoy it.

Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says 'Already Disturbed, Proceed with Caution".

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

I used to be crazy but one of my voices is a therapist and declared I am sane

I've learned so much from my mistakes I'm thinking of making a few more

I've expanded my skills. I can now forget what I'm doing while I'm actually doing it.

The Lysol commercial told me to disinfect the things I touch the most. I have a feeling that this is going to burn.

We have to stop this recent culture of people telling us they're "Offended" and expecting us to care

You're not speaking to me anymore? Really? Promise?

"Welcome To The Unknown Zone" by Dr.Dinar

Welcome To The Unknown Zone By Dr. Dinar

How on Earth can we still be here? And by "here", I mean on this journey. This journey to a place no one has ever been. To a destination that doesn't exist on any map. At least not on a map that we can purchase. Certainly not at our pay grade anyway.

Nope. Whatever is (or isn't) going on here, either in front of or behind the scenes, is rated GCRCO (Global Currency Reset Committee Only). Yep, like it or not, the GCR Committee has cranked up the Parental Controls to full on "No Peeking - No Speaking" mode.

Strictly a "need to know" basis and apparently, there must be a bit of confusion because for some strange reason, they're under the impression we don't need to know. Oh, if they only knew how wrong they are, I just know they'd change their minds. Well, I'd like to think so anyway.

As we eek into the supposed final stretch of this far too long, get rich not all that quickly, not quite overnight journey, all of the so-called "Sources" have basically clammed up. Shut down, zipped their lips, gone the way of the NDA and I must admit; the silence is deafening. And if left unchecked, a bit disheartening as well.

Sure, we continue to hear that everything's done, the Bank's are on RED alert, security is in place and this thing could pop at any minute. One minute it won't be; and the next minute, it will be.

That "suddenly", without notice, all of a sudden everything will change. That those of us fortunate enough to be aware of the GCR/RV opportunity will go from the "have not's" to the "have plenty's". But just how often can we continue to hear that same ol' stuff and still believe it.

Have we all been duped? Including the Banks! They've been hearing it for years, just like we have. At some point even those of us with the strongest of foundations wouldn't be frowned upon for at some point questioning our own thoughts. Our own beliefs. Our own foundations.

Yes, we did our due diligence, our own research. Otherwise why on Earth would we still be involved. But that alone can only be relied on for so long.

When I first jumped on board, even though we didn't know it at the time, things were oh so much easier. And by easier, I mean there were quite a few less "thing's" we had to keep our eyes on.

Back then the name of the game was RV. Simple as that. The RV of the IQD. All RV... all Iraq... all the time. That was it. Even the VND was just a faint rumor at best. Nothing worth paying any attention to.

All they had to do was oust Maliki, keep Sadr from following through on his dastardly deeds, let Shabibi take the reins, release them from the "Program" rate, pop their "deenar" up to the new rate and BOOM, we were done. Pretty simple, huh?

And when we saw the first hint of the sanctions against Iraq being lifted late in 2010, we just knew we were there. Next thing would be the removal of Iraq from the OFAC List. Add them to the WTO. Presto change-o, post it in the Gazette, declare their new fangled currency Internationally tradeable and we were done. On the bus and off to the Bank we would go.

But hang on there Dinarland, not so fast. Best to keep your hands, feet, as well as your camel in the corral. At least until this ride comes to a complete stop. Turns out there were still a couple more steps to complete before we reached the Station.

That was confirmed at the end of June, 2011, when all of Shabibi's promises went down the drain and we all hunkered down in the knowing that this thing was likely to drag out just a bit further.

Sure, we'd heard rumors of another train runnin' down the tracks. Luckily it was a different train, on a different set of tracks. Something called The Marshall Plan. But no worries. Once again, just another rumor. A rumor that we were assured wouldn't affect us. Stay focused, it's nothing we need to pay attention to.

After all, rumors were our bread and butter. We lived on 'em... we thrived on 'em. We'd already heard plenty of stuff from the "Sandbox" and all the Contractors in the "Green Zone" getting paid the "RV Rate", so we were quite accustomed to rumors never panning out. Good or bad.

Still we were told to fold our trays and return our seats to an upright position because we'd be landing very soon. And although the plane was continually circling, it was bound to land at some point in the very near future.

I mean a plane's fuel tank is only so large, so logically it can only remain in the air for so long. Problem is they somehow forgot to mention the plane was continually being refueled by a Tanker circling very nearby.

The rumors of another set of tracks began to increase, getting louder with every "Chug" of the train. Those "tracks", although they were initially running parallel to our track to prosperity, to paying it forward, to living the lives we all dreamed of, surely would never affect our track to the RV. Or would they.

Unfortunately we can all see now just how that original "plan" worked out. It didn't. And it was at that point that most of us began to pay more attention to all those GCR rumors and to the impact they could possibly have on us reaching our goal of a simple RV of the IQD any time soon. Maybe there was more to this thing after all.

While some of us might have originally taken this leap of faith, risking our entire everything, our future's, our relationships with family and friends, even our own sanity by jumping on board the Insane Train, with little to not a whole lot of prior research, that would be completely understandable.

After all, I would have to believe that when many of us first became aware of this here RV thing, we only had two weeks before it was going to "pop" and it could take a week or more just to receive our currency. So it was kind of a now or never, believe or don't believe, get in at your own risk kind of thing.

And so we jumped in, phone's always on, alarm clocks set for two weeks, readier than ready. But as the months and weeks continued to tick by, we began to do more and more of our own due diligence. Anything to prove, even if only to ourselves, that this thing was indeed real. And was really going to happen.

I dug deep and when I began to discover names like Haliburton being granted huge contracts, Citibank being offered the first Bank Charter, China signing contracts to build thousands of homes, and a huge laundry list of "biggies" all chomping at the bit to get a piece of Iraq, for reasons both known and unknown, I was convinced that this thing was real.

If "they" were so eager to pay to play, I knew I really wanted to be a part of it as well. Never having to look back and wonder "What if?"

As time went by I also began to realize that although the original intention of this whole RV deal was indeed a "behind the scenes", get rich quick scheme for the "Big Boys Club" as it were, that wasn't going to stop me from wanting a piece of the pie as well. In fact, it only added to my motivation.

Upon seeing that their plan wasn't working out as they'd hoped, yet they weren't in any hurry to "cash out" and walk away, further convinced me to stay. Oh no, they were in it for the long haul. Therefore, so was I. Right to the bitter end. As long as I still held one note, I'd be in it to win it.

If at some point I came to the realization that I no longer believed in what I've spent the past "far too long" believing in, then chances are very good I'd already be hanging out with Elvis, outside some random building somewhere East of the Las Vegas Strip wondering how I could've been so wrong. Questioning every thought I ever had pertaining to the validity of this RV/GCR thing.

But I'm not hangin' with The King. Not yet anyway. Nope, I'm still right here, right now. And hopefully I'll continue to be until I reach the finish line. Wherever and whenever that may be.

Okay, so yes, maybe the Banks have been told to be ready so they don't have to get ready to be ready for going on, I don't even know how many years now. So long in fact that I've basically lost count, which is a good thing.

And while I'd like to think that's all part of their "Boy who cried wolf until he was old enough to be put into an Assisted Living facility" Plan, chances are there was no plan after all and they are simply "wingin' it", making up the rules as they go along. Up against something so huge that there is absolutely no way to put a "date" on this moving target. And it has nothing to do with us whatsoever.

And while they might have timelines, deadlines, and "windows", not a one of them are cast in stone. Therefore they can all be stepped over, crossed and broken as needed. I have the distinct feeling they flip their own script quite often.

Either way, I don't think we're ever going to know for sure. In the old days I wanted nothing more than to know (after the fact) what was truly going on behind the scenes this entire time. When we thought they were "zigging", were they actually "zagging", and were they ever truly in control of the situation or was it just uncontrolled chaos at its finest.

Mellowing with wisdom gained through time and research, at this point I'm much more content to leave the unknown alone, looking forward to the future as opposed to deciphering the past. Any thoughts of Dinarland and this journey will happily be left in my rear view mirror. And might I add, not a minute too soon.

I'm more than anxious to be done and movin' on, getting my new life in gear. I have quite a bit of paying it forward I'd like to accomplish and there's no time like the present to get started.

They always said it would get crazy near the end. Well, the crazy part has been going on for over a decade, so I'm not too sure about when the crazy part actually started. Or when it will officially end.

They also mentioned that as we got closer, everything would go quiet. Not a peep, not a sound. I'm not so sure they thought that "sound of silence" would be NDA induced but whatever. I tend to believe that's our current stage.

It seems as if lips are zipped and not a word can be heard from in front of, nor from behind the scenes. Which, when you think about it, as agonizing as it may be, makes total cents. Ooops, I mean sense.

So, if at all possible, please do your best to enjoy the silence. I know it's not easy but relish the unknown. The middle ground between the not yet and the RV/GCR, between back screens and Teller screens, between the pit of rumors and the summit of fruition.

This is the dimension of imagination, the place we've dreamed of reaching for far too long. The time when all of our thoughts, our beliefs, our faith in our own due diligence will truly be tested like never before. It is an area which I affectionately call, The Unknown Zone.

All my best,

Dr. Dinar

Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, nor am I a Seller of To Go bags. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.

From Recaps Archives

"Have You Laughed Today?" -Humor While we Wait.

We have all been there......but this description is beyond pricless....have you laughed today???.

Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.

Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis .

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,'which comes in a box larg e enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, and then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt.

You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.

I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' has to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking 'Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

Have you laughed today?????

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... l The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started.....

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started.....

My wife and I were at her high school reunion. She kept staring at a drunk swigging his drink at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up years ago. I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started...

Our lawn mower broke. My wife kept hinting that I should get it fixed. Somehow I always had something to do first, always important to me. She thought of a way to make her point. I came home from work to find her seated in the grass, snipping with a tiny pair of scissors. I watched then went into the house. I came out and handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but always with a limp.

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a bathroom scale. And then the fight started......

Saturday morning I got up early and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. I turned on the radio. It said the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" That's how the fight started...

I went to the Social Security office to apply. The lady behind the counter asked me for my ID. I realized I had left my wallet at home. I said I'll have to come back later. The Lady said, 'Open your shirt'. I showed my silver hair. She said, 'That's is proof enough for me' and processed application. When I got home, I told my wife what happened. She said, 'Next Time drop your pants. You would have gotten disability too.' And then the fight started...

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect." And then the fight started........

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?' That's how the fight started.

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace

When you are dead, you don't know that you are dead. It is difficult only for others. It is the same if you are stupid.

I'm just waiting to see if my coffee chooses to use it's power for good or evil today.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind," Dr Seuss

Her: You never listen to me. You only hear what you want to hear!" Me. " Yes I would like a Beer"

My Dentist said I need a crown. I was like "I know right?"

I need a vacation. And by "Vacation" I mean I need to move away, find a new job on a beach with rum.

I never called you stupid but when I asked you how you spelled Mississippi and you asked me it I was talking about the state or the river, you kind of caught me off guard.

If your Significant other is mad at you, put a cape on them and say "Now You're Super Mad!". If they Laugh, Marry Them

Why Weigh yourself? You could set yourself on Fire and then roll in Broken glass and still feel the same way.

Surgical Humor

"Might As Well Laugh!" Posted by Mor at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.

Suddenly, the light turned yellow just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger-printed, and photographed, and then placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do?' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car!"

*************

Mot: An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning til night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began pestering him. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, “Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I’d nod my head in agreement.”

“And what about the men?” the minister asked.

“They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.”

************

Mot: Valentine's Day struggles......Homer

Mot: Bet Ya Didn't Know of the ""7 Dwarves of Valentines"" - HUh!! ~~~

Mot: .. Ya Gots to Love Maxine! ~~~

.Mot. Yet Another Insight Tip on Marital Thingies! ~~~

"Grins and Chuckles " Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last ......

ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

 I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket..

The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants.

I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retributionis a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.

I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life..

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper fi,

Alex

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Mot:  A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"

The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

The boy returned to his fishing, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breath underwater?"

Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son.

"Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"

"Of course not son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!"

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Mot:  One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Bowerston wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families, and local school activities.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears.  Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance,
trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.

Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy is in his presence.

This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, “Hey, don’t you know who I am?”

The man says, “Yep, sure do.”

Satan says, “Well, aren’t you afraid of me?” The man says, “Nope, sure ain’t.”

Satan, perturbed, says, “And why aren’t you afraid of me?”

The man says, “Well, I’ve been married to your sister for 25 years.”

Mot:  Aaaahhhh Yes - Those Magic Moments Raising the ""Wee Folks"" ~~~driving lessons

Mot-- This un is Sooo Helpfulish!! ~~~