Humor While We Wait- From Maxine
.Humor while we wait:
“Quotes from Maxine….Life, Love and Losers”
“I just tried to book a makeover. They said they’d call me when the parts come in!”
“My brain’s not on vacation anymore…but it does seem to be considering an early retirement!”
“Your golden years are a time to start asking yourself life’s big questions…Like, “Now why did I come into this room? I knew a minute ago!”
“My favorite coffee flavor?....Under- a -dollar flavor!”
“I’ve got the ergonomic office chair…but, this job’s still a pain in the butte!”
“When the going gets tough……eat more fiber!”
Humor while we wait:
“Quotes from Maxine….Life, Love and Losers”
“I just tried to book a makeover. They said they’d call me when the parts come in!”
“My brain’s not on vacation anymore…but it does seem to be considering an early retirement!”
“Your golden years are a time to start asking yourself life’s big questions…Like, “Now why did I come into this room? I knew a minute ago!”
“My favorite coffee flavor?....Under- a -dollar flavor!”
“I’ve got the ergonomic office chair…but, this job’s still a pain in the butte!”
“When the going gets tough……eat more fiber!”
“Going to work would be easier if I stayed in bed for a living!”
“Let your conscience by your guide……and you will never have any fun!”
“ Remember: Two Wrongs don’t make a right….It takes two wrongs a shin kick and a prank phone call!”
“I like to think of each day as a new mountain to be climbed, a new river to be crossed, a new neighbor to be mooned!”
“The only time I make a splash at a party is when I put more ice cubes in my drink!”
“TV is like a book you can sleep through!”
“Here’s a tip…If you have hot flashes you’re too old for hot pants!”
“You are welcome to kiss the cook. Guess where?”
“Ever get your fast food, and kinda wish they’d taken their time?”
“I tried getting away from it all…most of it followed me!”
“Every once in a while the girls get together for a brunch…that’s a cross between a brawl and a punch!”
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore indefinitely!”
“I have an 8 to 5 job….Unfortunately it comes with a 10 to 2 paycheck!”
“ I work in a big office…..The conference room sleeps thirty!”
“They say that truth is inside you….That must be what’s giving acid reflux!”
“The Journey of 10 feet begins with a single “Where’s the $#%&^*!@ remote!”
“You can lead a horse to water…If you want the water to smell like horse for the rest of the day!”
“I applied for a loan, but the bank had zero percent interest.”
“I feel like I’ve left my mark on the world…..a scar is a type of mark, right?”
“In life there’s no free lunch…Unless you crash a wedding reception…then there’s free cake and booze too!”
“Reach for the stars….It keeps your chest from sagging!”
“I love soap operas…They make me feel so….what’s the word-Normal!”
“Love is in the air…in case you are wondering what that smell was!”
“Catch and release” is pretty much my policy when it comes to dating too!”
“The women in romance novels ought to throw a fit instead of heaving a bosom!”
“Romantic gestures are not my speciality…..driving gestures….sure!”
“If men are from Mars, we need to find the bozo who supplied them with spaceships!”
“Looking for a hot date? Pick any date in August…They don’t get much hotter than that!”
“I like to think of make-up as just another way to lie to men!”
“I’m what they call a “natural woman”….which just means “Not rich enough to get implants!”
“Men are only good for one thing…but, then you have to feed them between car repairs!”
“They say it’s not over till it’s over….Wow, I wonder how long it took ‘em to figure that one out?”
“When people ask me what I do, I say I’m in manufacturing…If they ask what kind, I tell them I make trouble for people who ask too many questions!”
“A single red rose says, “I love you” ….a window box of headless carnations says “Keep your dog in your own yard!”
“My boss asked me to take an anger management class this year…I told him I’m angry enough with management as it is!”
“You can tell Hollywood is full of environmentalists…they keep recycling the same plots!”
“Interesting coincidence…I have firewood, and the neighbor is missing an Adirondack chair!”
“It’s not the heat…It’s the boneheads who keep saying it’s not the heat!”
“I keep a well stock pantry in case friends drop by….I could hide in there for days!”
“I’m not sure that good things come to those who wait….but, I’ve noticed that bad things happen to people who cut in front of me in the express lane!”
“Instead of blogging about your life…try getting one!”
“Personally, I think conservatives and liberals should move toward the middle of the road….Makes it easier to run ‘em over!”
“It’s tough being a Congressman….try patting yourself on the back with both hands in constituents pockets!”
“ All my co-workers have great tans….Especially on their noses!”
“Riding the bus saves gas and helps the environment…plus, what other mode of transportation gives you so many chances to tell people where to get off?”
“ The only thing worse then seein’ a baseball player scratch himself on TV, is knowing he probably earned a couple grand while doing it!”
“The early worm may get the worm…but the night owl gets the tequila!”
The Difference Between Men and Women
.Humor while we wait:
The Difference Between Man and Woman!
Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"
And then, there is silence in the car.
Humor while we wait:
The Difference Between Man and Woman!
Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"
And then, there is silence in the car.
To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.
And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.
And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...
"Fred," Martha says aloud.
"What?" says Fred, startled.
"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)
"What?" says Fred.
"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."
"There's no horse?" says Fred.
"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.
"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.
"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.
"What way?" says Fred.
"That way about time," says Martha.
"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
"Thank you, Fred," she says.
"Thank you," says Fred.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.
They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.
Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"
And that's the difference between men and women.
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE (Have you Smiled Today?)
NICKNAMES
• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals..
NATURAL
• Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
A Woman's Week at the Gym!
.Humor while we wait- From Recaps Archives
It’s that time of year again!!!!!!!
A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM
This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
Humor while we wait- From Recaps Archives
It’s that time of year again!!!!!!!
A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM
This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines..
I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile.
His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals.. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members.. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?
Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.
_______________________________
THURSDAY:
Cristo was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.
He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that demon Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
Christo wanted me to work on my triceps I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the stupid barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
________________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today.
Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however,
I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel...
________________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over.
I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy.
I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler
Humor While We wait………..from Recaps Archives
Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler
December 8 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our ****tails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So
romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
Humor While We wait………..from Recaps Archives
Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler
December 8 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our ****tails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So
romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
sight! Can there be a more lovely place in
the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've
ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a
boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered
up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got
to shovel again. What a perfect life!
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry-
we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and
buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish
I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2
extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants
a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think
that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my a** on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like h***. The
wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very
cruel.
December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to
pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but
stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to
her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe
I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of
the d*** stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all
day The d*** snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about
buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
another shipment in March. I think they're lying.
Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done
and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white s**** fell today, and it's so cold,
it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes
to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I
had to p***. By the time I got undressed, p***ed and
dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to
hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of
the winter, but he says he's too busy.
I think the a**h*** is lying.
December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house
this morning. What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke
the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I
ever catch the son of a b**** who drives that snow
plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his b**** and
beat him to death with my broken shovel.. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just
been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
busy watching for the d*** snowplow.
December 25
Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the d***
slop tonight - Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. D***, I hate
the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one
more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in. Why the h*** did I ever move here? It
was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze;
plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he
only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The B------ is
driving me crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever
heard How dumb does he think I am?
December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now
he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the
beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the
broken snow shovel up his a?. The wife went home to
her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.
December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
Sabickford's Greatest Hits
.Humor While We Wait
Sabickford’s Greatest hits
I hate when people accuse me of lolly gagging when I'm quite clearly dilly dallying
You can exercise all you want but you'll never going to burn that crazy off.
Before you ask me to babysit I think you should know that I think kids are super funny when they're drunk.
IMMATURE: A word often used by extremely boring people to describe fun people.
At Times I'm Grateful that thoughts don't appear in bubbles over our heads.
Without Stupid People we would have no one to laugh at. Take the time and thank a Stupid person for their contribution.
Relationships are like a walk in the park - Jurassic Park
Humor While We Wait
Sabickford’s Greatest hits (Thank you Sabickford!)
I hate when people accuse me of lolly gagging when I'm quite clearly dilly dallying
You can exercise all you want but you'll never going to burn that crazy off.
Before you ask me to babysit I think you should know that I think kids are super funny when they're drunk.
IMMATURE: A word often used by extremely boring people to describe fun people.
At Times I'm Grateful that thoughts don't appear in bubbles over our heads.
Without Stupid People we would have no one to laugh at. Take the time and thank a Stupid person for their contribution.
Relationships are like a walk in the park - Jurassic Park
They say it's better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?
Don't be afraid of being outnumbered. Remember Eagles fly alone. Pigeons flock together.
My soulmate is out there somewhere, pushing a pull door. I just know it.
I'm not much on Seizing the Day, I just poke at it with a stick.
New disease “Idiotitis” the brain shuts down but the mouth keeps talking……..
The hardest part of parenting is trying to fake mad when your kid does something bad but Hilarious.
“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”-George Carlin
I grew a beard thinking it would say "Distinguished Gentleman." Instead, turns out it says, "Senior Discount, Please!"
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Whenever I pass someone texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window.
That mmoent you mqke a post and u relise that u speled half the words rong and u lok stupid.
Before you try to hurt my feelings, Take into account that I don't have any, and you probably do.
When a Woman says "Correct me if I'm Wrong." Do not under any, I mean ANY Circumstances do it!!
You are dust and will return to dust…That's why I don't dust. It might be someone I Know.
Dear Santa, I've been good all year. Most of the time. Once in awhile. Never Mind I'll buy my own stuff.
To the teenager who flipped me off for honking at them, Your Cell Phone is on top of your car!
After winning the game I decided to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV. Apparently this is unacceptable in Bowling.
I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12 and my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet.
I've been A lot of places but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go alone, you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've never been in Cognito either. I hear nobody recognizes you there. I have however been in Sane, They don't have an airport there, you have to be driven. I have made several Trips.
I picked up a Hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger and asked " Thanks, but why would you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?" I told him the chances of two serial killers being in the one car are astronomical.
Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 sec. in my head, That'll freak you right out!!!
I send flowers "From Steve" to my neighbors wife every Friday Night, then watch them fight from my living room windows eating popcorn.
Sign On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
Sign In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”
Sign In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait”.
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: “Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises”.
Sign Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
I asked my Grandpa, "After 65 years you still call Grandma Darling, Beautiful, and Honey. What's the secret?" He said "I Forgot her name 5 Years ago and I'm Afraid to ask her!"
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, You are probably holding the Taser wrong.
Last night, my neighbor came home drunk & banged on his own door for 5 Min. Problem is, he lives alone. I went over and told him He wasn't there, so he left.
I told my Job that 3 companies were after me and I needed a raise. My Boss asked what companies? I said Power, Electric, and Gas.
So Many Village Idiots - So Few Dragons!
Today, I will be as Useless as the "G" in Lasagna.
Friend: Could you be any more annoying? Me: I've been waiting my whole life for this question…Yes, Oh God, YES!!!
Good Morning Today's Monday and I have no words to describe this day. I do, However, I have TONS of Obscene Gestures.
I'm still waiting patiently for the wisdom that supposedly comes with old age. Anyone Else?
What's That? You heard a bunch of stories from someone who Hates Me? That Stuff MUST Be True!
Interviewer: "So Tell me about yourself." Me: "I'd rather not, I kind of need this job."
I have done terrible things for money….like get up early and go to work!
OMG, I'm Rich!! Silver in my hair, Gold in my teeth, crystals in the Kidneys, sugar in the blood, Lead ************ Iron in the Blood and an inexhaustible supply of natural gas. I never thought I would accumulate such wealth!
If Republicans Win, I'm leaving the country! If Democrats Win, I'm leaving the country! This has nothing to do with Politics. I just want to travel!
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Bubba.
Finally my winter fat is gone…..now I have spring rolls
Telling a angry woman to calm down works about as well as baptizing a cat.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I'm alone I will look at them shocked and just whisper "You can See Me?"
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? - Quatro sinko.
What's the difference between the Pope and your boss? The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.
I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got distracted on my way back, have no idea what's going on, and now I have to Pee.
A woman cut in front of me at the supermarket with a box of tampons, ice cream and wine in her cart. I wasn't about to mess with that situation.
Why must I prove who I am in order to pay my bills over the phone? So Strangers call to pay my bills? And if they do why don't you let them?
Mr. Rodgers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
Ladies, you can tell a lot about a man by the way dogs react to him. For Example if a police K-9 dog is biting him he may not be the ideal.
When a Woman says "Correct me if I'm Wrong." Do not under any, I mean ANY Circumstances do it!!
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response.
I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy.
My superpower is making people laugh. Which would be great if I was trying to be funny.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket. You know you're not gonna win, but you're sure as hell gonna try.
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
"In It To Win It" by Dr. Dinar From Recaps Archives
.In It To Win It By Dr. Dinar
Is this thing for real?
No... really. Is it?
Yeah, this dinar RV deal.
This entire GCR "thing".
Is any of this really and truly going to happen? Like, ever??
Or are we existing in some kind of an alternate universe, alternating between reality and who knows where.
I'll bet there are quite a few folks asking themselves those very same questions right about now.
Not just family and friends of those afflicted with RV/GCR-itis.
In It To Win It By Dr. Dinar
Is this thing for real?
No... really. Is it?
Yeah, this dinar RV deal.
This entire GCR "thing".
Is any of this really and truly going to happen? Like, ever??
Or are we existing in some kind of an alternate universe, alternating between reality and who knows where.
I'll bet there are quite a few folks asking themselves those very same questions right about now.
Not just family and friends of those afflicted with RV/GCR-itis.
Heck, they've had our Rubber Rooms reserved for us for many years now.
It's no shock to them that this once in a lifetime pipe dream has yet to materialize.
To them it's no surprise whatsoever that we aren't celebrating our new lives as millionaires.
Heck no.
They knew from the very beginning that this pie-in-the-sky, too-good-to-be-true Ponzi Scheme was just a scam perpetrated by the banks, the ABC Agencies and the self-proclaimed behind the screens Guru's.
And so far, they're feelin' pretty good about their predictions.
And they won't hesitate to continue to remind us of that fact either.
"Are you rich yet?"
"Did your ship finally come in?"
"How's that new Ferrari workin' out for ya?"
"Enjoying your new Beach House?"
I'm pretty sure we've all been on the receiving end of those jabs.
And more.
The naysayers that continue on with their relentless doubt filled statements, all in an effort to prove themselves right, at the expense of our being wrong.
Which all serves to undermine your foundation, if even just a little bit.
Completely understandable.
For those of us that have been involved in this made for TV spectacle for many years, those that have done the research and built a foundation based on history and how it's extremely likely that history will repeat itself in one form or another, I have a feeling we're fairing a bit better than those that have recently jumped on board the Insane Train.
Yes, I have a strong feeling that those folks among us that are relatively new to this game are going through those initial stages of serious doubt right about now.
Could the naysayers be right?
Could this all be a scam?
Did I fall for yet another Pyramid Scheme, just like my Brother in Law said I did?
We all have those twinges every once in a while, even us RV/GCR veterans.
It's only natural.
At the end of the day it comes down to this being a currency speculation.
Yes, a SPECULATION.
There are no guarantees, one way or another.
Absolutely none.
We paid our money, we bought our currency, we all (well, most of us anyway) verified that we were over 48in. tall, which means we're "officially" tall enough to ride this ride.
Basically, we're committed (some believe we should have been committed long ago but that's another story for a different day) to this journey, however long it may take.
Long term investment?
Yeah, we know.
Believe me... we know.
After all, how many times have we heard that.
Not quite as many times as we've heard "It's goin' down tomorrow!" but probably pretty darn close.
Which doesn't bode well for those that thought this was a guaranteed Lottery Ticket win.
Once they realized that this ordeal was going to take some time, they've had to do quite a bit of digging to create foundations of their own.
A means of hanging on and hangin' in there by any means available.
And I feel sorry for those that have yet to go through the initial reality check.
We all got "in" shortly after hearing we only had a few days before this thing popped and suffering through the not-knowingness of whether our shipment of IQD would arrive in time or not.
Yep, been there, done that.
And got the faded Fed Ex envelope to prove it.
Yet, here we are, weeks, months, some of us years later.
Still amazed at how we could still be waiting.
Wondering how all of these endless drop-dead dates and deadlines could have slid by without as much of a provable peep of factual facts to show for it.
Last I checked all the economies around the world should have crumbled at least five years ago.
And yet, here we are, with a world seemingly no worse for wear.
Well, besides the mandatory wearing of the masks, anyway.
Go figure.
And now we're back to the sounds of silence.
Which, I ain't gonna lie, can really be kind of a drag sometimes.
Yep, Dinarland has once again been hushed into submission and to be honest, the silence is deafening.
We've all picked our faves along the way and whether you're a fan of the Newshounds or the Rumtellers, you've surely felt there was someone in Dinarland strummin' the right banjo.
Playin' your tune.
Unfortunately, at the end of the day, here we sit with boxes of funny money and seemingly none of the all-knowing Guru's being any more right or wrong than any of the others.
We're all on the same playing field, left wondering who has the ball.
All part of the Plan? Perhaps.
Maybe all this confusion was just part of a well executed plan of deception.
Myself, I lean more towards the uncontrolled chaos of the situation creating most, if not all, of the confusion.
Not to mention all the behind-the-scenes corruption adding to the confusionism as well.
Mix it all together and you pretty much have the scenario we're currently experiencing.
I'm not so sure they had to add any extra ingredients to spice up the mix.
Does that mean we give up? Heck no!
Does it mean we aren't any closer than we were when Iraq was released from Chapter 7 oh so many years ago?
Again, not necessarily.
Maybe so. Maybe not.
Heck, at this point, everything's a guess because nobody really knows.
One thing's for certain though, we HAVE to be getting closer. Don't we?
I'd sure like to think so anyway.
Unfortunately, closer doesn't necessarily mean close.
Then again, it doesn't mean that we're not close.
It only means that despite how often we might forget, things are happening, things have happened, and things are being done.
Just not on our schedule.
Nor anybody else's for that matter.
And not the one thing we want so emphatically to be over and done, which of course is the GCR.
Therefore, it comes down to making a choice.
Do we bail out early, sell our currency back, and say a quick Adios to Dinarland?
I say Heck No!
I vote we continue to stay strong, to fight the good fight, and to prove, not only to ourselves, but to our family and friends, that we were right.
That "they" were wrong.
That this deal IS real.
That we aren't just plain looney.
That we aren't simply one dim Crayon short of a sharp tool shed.
I know I'm not going anywhere.
I'm in it to win it!
And hopefully you are as well.
We've been in this thing for far too long to give up now.
Kindly,
Dr. Dinar
Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, nor am I the Dog Whisperer or in any way involved with the SPCA or the promoting of buying or selling of foreign currency. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.
News, Rumors and Humor Tuesday Night 11-24-2020
.Dr. Scott Young - NESARA/End Times/Truth in Word
Dr. Scott Young: I am getting this: Will my money be safe after NESARA switch? YES. The same amt you had before is something you will have after. BUT no more debt economy!
Let me explain more....
If you have 1000 in an acct, you will still have that. 83 trill was set aside for the debt of America (ALL), 47 trill for GESARA debts. But you will have to learn to live within your means....
Living in a debt economy, grows your debt. Living in Savings Economy w/o debt up front, no IRS, Revalued Currency? Easier but will need you to relearn money. MUST SUBJECT to learn money tracing. How it works!
Dr. Scott Young - NESARA/End Times/Truth in Word
Dr. Scott Young: I am getting this: Will my money be safe after NESARA switch? YES. The same amt you had before is something you will have after. BUT no more debt economy!
Let me explain more....
If you have 1000 in an acct, you will still have that. 83 trill was set aside for the debt of America (ALL), 47 trill for GESARA debts. But you will have to learn to live within your means....
Living in a debt economy, grows your debt. Living in Savings Economy w/o debt up front, no IRS, Revalued Currency? Easier but will need you to relearn money. MUST SUBJECT to learn money tracing. How it works!
What could a mom with 4 trying to make it on two jobs with 30K do with no IRS, No Debt, and ability to do ONE job and be home with kids??? That's what I focus upon. How about people affording Hearing Aids, Glasses, Medical Procedures???
NESARA is for the USA, GESARA is for the world. NESARA brings more than 286 Tons of Gold in a new money standard for us. Other countries will have their own precious metals (Zimbabwe in diamonds?).
Believer: When will Nesara be implemented in the US?
Dr Scott Young: indicates around the beginning of the year or so. There are LAYERS upon LAYERS. Debt Relief of millions! The World has their own work. And So much more.
Courtesy of Dinar Guru https://www.dinarguru.com/
Frank26, Petra, Militiaman Guru Frank - the white papers have a lot of information in them. Do you agree with me when I say the white papers have the new exchange rate? Guru Militiaman - I would say they have been informed of the new exchange rate. The people who wrote this document I would say they are very aware of it. Guru Petra - It's hard to create a budget, a plan, a roadmap without knowing where you want to end up. So they have to have knowledge of the plan which would include the rate change in developing that plan...they have calculated and recalculated and recalculated to come up with the rate they're going with. And the fact that the financial world markets have agreed to this white paper strategy tells me there is a rate involved...yes, there is knowledge of the rate change...
Jeff ...about 2 months ago Iraq came out telling us that oil above $40 a barrel does cover their government operating expenses...Iraq can actually produce oil for about $10.70 per barrel. That was just 5 years ago. I doubt they're even above $15 at this point. Iraq can literally extract a barrel of oil for $15 a barrel. So anything above $15 is pure cash profit... Article "Brent barrel is at the highest level since March 2020". Brent oil was trading at $46.48. Brent oil is getting positioned to be able to fund Iraq's 2021 budget..
Petra I've been so high on this that I have to look down to see heaven. I'm so excited to see what's going on...the white paper detail...it clearly delineates the future for Iraq. And it's that plan that all does not happen without the change in the rate...it's an exciting time for all of us to consider where we're at with this investment. I'm very excited to be where we're at right now from a pure logic perspective...
.***********
Tuesday Night X22 Reports
Trump Let The [CB] Know That He Is In Control Of The Economy. Ep 2337a
The economy is improving in the US, home prices accelerate at the fastest pace in 30 months. People are now seeing who has destroyed their businesses and their lives. Watch CA. The [CB] economy that Trump controls is coming back, the Dow hit 30000, Trump held a press conference to let the [CB]/[DS] players know that their plan failed and he is in control of the economy.
*******
Trump Dangles The Bait,GSA, [DS] Takes The Bait, Truth Transparency The Only Way Forward – Ep. 2337b
Trump has dangled the bait and the [DS]/MSM has taken it, hook line and sinker. This is about destroying the [DS] system. The only way to do this is the truth, which means the rule of law and the highest law in the land is the constitution. The enemy is in the process of destroying themselves, why interfere. The coverup of the crime always gets you, Trump and team are pushing the [DS]/MSM into a panic.
TNT:
Mot: A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and ~~~~~
A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
“It hasn't affected my brothers though."
************
Mot: ~~~~ Don't Forget to Set it ~~~~~~
News, Rumors and Humor Saturday Night 11-21-2020
.KTFA:
Samson: For The Purpose Of Stimulating The Economic Movement. Measures To Facilitate The Entry Of Foreigners Into Iraq
21st November, 2020
The Office of the Presidency of the Republic called for facilitating procedures for granting entry visas to foreigners into Iraq, attributing that to the revitalization of the economy, investment and tourism.
Chief of the Bureau Muhannad Hussam al-Din said in a statement that Al-Mustaqila received a copy of today, Saturday, that a meeting with the Director General of Civil Status, Passports and Residence, Major General Riyad Al-Kaabi, “After the Corona crisis resolves with the help of God, Iraq needs to build new bridges to communicate with various countries The world, and facilitating the procedures for granting foreigners entry visas to the country, to visit tourist, religious and heritage sites, which opens the way for the counterparty to the initiative and reciprocate.
KTFA:
Samson: For The Purpose Of Stimulating The Economic Movement. Measures To Facilitate The Entry Of Foreigners Into Iraq
21st November, 2020
The Office of the Presidency of the Republic called for facilitating procedures for granting entry visas to foreigners into Iraq, attributing that to the revitalization of the economy, investment and tourism.
Chief of the Bureau Muhannad Hussam al-Din said in a statement that Al-Mustaqila received a copy of today, Saturday, that a meeting with the Director General of Civil Status, Passports and Residence, Major General Riyad Al-Kaabi, “After the Corona crisis resolves with the help of God, Iraq needs to build new bridges to communicate with various countries The world, and facilitating the procedures for granting foreigners entry visas to the country, to visit tourist, religious and heritage sites, which opens the way for the counterparty to the initiative and reciprocate.
Hussam al-Din added that “we must take the initiative and strive to revitalize the tourism, cultural, economic and investment aspects, rapprochement with the various peoples of the world, and break the barrier of anxiety and hesitation with international tourism companies, so that it is possible to closely see the reality of Iraqi cities, social life and multiple activities, which provides added opportunities for economic cooperation. "Commercial and investment, and the exchange of tourist groups."
According to the statement, “The officials discussed the work of the aforementioned directorate, which has made good strides and achieved remarkable successes, in the areas of facilitating the procedures for issuing passports and the unified card, with its advanced database that can be employed and used from its information to achieve economic and security ranges, and to provide a sufficient amount of information and data, which will serve the electoral process scheduled to take place in the middle of next year. LINK
Samson: America holds a conference on the economy of the Kurdistan Region after Corona
21st November, 2020
The Prime Minister of Kurdistan Region, Masrour Barzani is scheduled to participate in a conference on the region’s economy after the outbreak of the Corona virus, sponsored by the Chamber of Commerce and Industry in the United States of America.
The chamber said in an official statement that the conference will be held on 23 and 24-11-2020 in an "online" manner, with the participation of high-level officials from America and the Kurdistan Region and American companies investing in the region.
According to the statement, it will discuss how to develop the economy, investment opportunities, and give importance to food security in the Kurdistan Region, as well as the future of relations between the United States and Iraq in the field of energy.
According to a statement issued by the regional government representative in Washington, Masrour Barzani will participate with high-level US officials in the conference. LINK
****************
Courtesy of Dinar Guru
Footforward They need international investment. They need that for a revaluation to happen. The RV can't be sustained without international investment coming back into the country...
Jeff Article: "Parliament Finance: Parliament is ready to read and approve the 2021 budget in intensive sessions" the salaries and the 2021 budget are flat out waiting on the rate change period.
***************
TNT:
President Kennedy's family reflects on his 100th birthday ~~~~~~
Remembering John F Kennedy...."The First Family" 1962 FULL ALBUM..............
Humor While We Wait:
Gracefully Aging Signs
1.) When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2.) To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3.) Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4.) It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5.) The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6.) When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7.) I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8.) I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9.) Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10.) If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11.) When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12.) I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13.) I run like the winded.
14.) I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15.) When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16.) When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17.) I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18.) When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19.) Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20.) Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21.) My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
Which one is YOUR favorite?
2020 Wisdom and Humor While We Wait 11-14-2020
.Humor while we wait
Sabickford: I Live in My Own Little World, But It's Ok They Know Me Here
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
To All Trolls - I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell 'til I met you.
I prefer to remain anomalous
I souport publik edekasion
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
I used up all my sick days, so i called in Dead.
Humor while we wait
Sabickford: I Live in My Own Little World, But It's Ok They Know Me Here
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
To All Trolls - I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell 'til I met you.
I prefer to remain anomalous
I souport publik edekasion
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
I used up all my sick days, so i called in Dead.
I'm not what I ought to be, wish to be, hope to be; But thank God I'm not what I was
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women around, is he still wrong?
I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
If Americans are so rich why am I so poor
If at First you Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You!
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
If genetic scientists crossed a chicken with a zebra would they get a four-legged chicken with its own barcode?
If God had intended for man to use the metric system, Jesus would have only had ten disciples!
If It Wasn't For The Running Joke, We Wouldn't Get Any Exercise
If you're heading the wrong direction God allows U turns
To All High School Seniors - I'm Going to Graduate on Time, No Matter How Long It Takes
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously?
It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy; That’s happiness
My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.
My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
So if a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a Milk Dud or a Utter Failure?
2020 Wisdom……
If 2020 was a math word-problem: If you’re going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?
"Send in the Replacements!" by Dr. Dinar 11-1-2020
.Thank you Dr. Dinar!
Send In The Replacements! by Dr. Dinar
Let's face it... we've all done it.
At least to some extent.
By "it" I'm referring to fudging just the slightest bit on a job application.
Or four.
Adding just a lil' "extra" somewhere on our resumés.
Whether it be delivering pizza's or piloting the Space Shuttle, it never hurts to be the best you can be.
Or even better than that, if possible.
Even if it's only on paper.
Thank you Dr. Dinar!
Send In The Replacements! by Dr. Dinar
Let's face it... we've all done it.
At least to some extent.
By "it" I'm referring to fudging just the slightest bit on a job application.
Or four.
Adding just a lil' "extra" somewhere on our resumés.
Whether it be delivering pizza's or piloting the Space Shuttle, it never hurts to be the best you can be.
Or even better than that, if possible.
Even if it's only on paper.
If not, our work history would be exceedingly boring.
Which is almost always the case, even with the occasional "embellishment" added on.
Even if it's only eliminating a job here or there along the way, simply to portray a bit more stability in your career choices.
Nobody wants any "gaps" in their work history.
There's nothing wrong with climbing the ladder.
Matter of fact, last I checked that type of improvement is encouraged.
It's the falling off of the ladder, followed immediately by the tumbling all the way back down to the ground that isn't always the best to put a spotlight on.
What's the harm in a little polishing here 'n there.
I mean, I highly doubt anyone out there is completely innocent.
Regardless of where you sit on the pay scale, top to bottom, nobody's immune to wanting to make a great first impression.
And after all, you only get one chance to make a great first impression.
So it's always best to make it a great one.
Unfortunately the whole over promise and under deliver thing can come back to haunt you, despite your best intentions.
Or in the case of us Dinarians, perhaps it's the actions (or rather, the inactions) of some overpromising under-deliverers behind the curtains that are causing us all the harm.
The folks that obviously lied on their job applications and yet, be it through attrition, good fortune, family ties or whatever, were somehow able to secure their jobs anyway.
Yes, I'm referring to all the fine folks supposedly working feverishly behind the scenes to get this whole GCR thing wrapped up.
Signed, sealed, and delivered.
Let's face it, we all see it.
At this point it's extremely obvious they aren't in any way qualified to do the job.
At least not the job as it was assigned to them.
If that weren't the case, it only stands to reason the job would have been completed quite some time ago.
Not that they were or weren't qualified some 35 years ago when the process first began but it pretty much goes without saying that they're extremely underqualified for the current task at hand.
In all fairness, perhaps they weren't given the option to opt-out along the way.
Maybe their contribution to the GCR was simply assigned to them as another part of their daily duties.
Type this, file that, and oh yeah, completely recreate as well as restructure the entire global banking system before you head home today.
Who knows.
Chances are, after all this time they probably can't remember either.
Have they intentionally been endlessly dragging their feet, all in an effort to create job security?
Or simply perfecting their wrench throwing abilities, all in hopes of keeping their Cornhole skills on point.
Whatever the case may be, they've certainly had more than plenty of time to get this thing done.
And to date, all efforts resulting in a big nothing.
Even with the earlier eight year pause-in-processing-progress, they've still had the past four years to more than make up for lost time.
To at least show some sign of progress in processing of the process.
Yet, here we sit, once again presumably progressless.
Basically broke & beyond befuddled.
Sound familiar?
Well, it should.
After all, it's the same feeling we've had each and every November 1st for the past fifteen November 1st's.
How could we have been so delusional as to fall for it yet again.
To fall for the endless "It's happening tomorrow's".
For the "they want us out there shopping up a storm before the Holidays" rumor redundancy.
The one thing in all of this constant confusium that brings me just the slightest peace of mind is the knowing that I'm not alone.
That we're not alone.
Alone in our feeling of having been decidedly duped.
And if we feel taken, can you imagine how the HR peeps that hired these incompetent folks must feel.
I'll bet they aren't all that happy either.
How could they be.
They were hired to do a job.
They've had more than enough time to get it accomplished, and they've failed.
And might I add, miserably at that.
If any of us had been as inept in our daily duties we'd have been terminated many years ago.
And I'm sure you'll agree, rightfully so.
Which begs the question, how did these people get hired in the first place.
Was there an RV/GCR Job Fair?
If so, I didn't get the memo.
Keep in mind when all these supposedly outstanding individuals were brought on board to complete their assigned duties, online job search giants such as Indoubt, Monstrosity, and Linked Out were nowhere to be found.
Nope, they, along with the world wide interwebs, had yet to be created.
In those days the hiring process likely involved numerous hand-written applications, hand-typed resumés, copious amounts of Cover Sheets, culminating in numerous nerve wracking face to face interviews.
And for the fortunate few that made it through, surviving the interview process, resulting in a win, combined with a "Please report to Karen McFiddlebuster in HR at 9am Monday morning" goodbye, followed by a quick handshake, and they were off.
Excitedly on their way home to iron their upcoming week's workwear and prepare for their magical future in the IT world to unfold.
As time passed, somehow these people managed to rise up through the ranks of the officially employed employees.
Not too sure exactly where they were first employed, but logic says it had to be somewhere semi important.
Which leads me to wonder how, if they did indeed fudge a bit on their resumés, how then were they able to reach the heights needed to be considered for such hugely important tasks as completing the GCR global redo.
That had to take some doing.
Or quite a bit of the ol' "it's not what you know as much as it is who you know" going on.
That's not to say there wasn't also a bit of luck involved along the way.
People quitting, leaving with little warning, creating openings that needed to be filled last minute with very little notice.
Along with a bit of planned obsolescence, combined with the usual turnover associated with any business and you can begin to see how a few folks might be able to squeeze through the cracks while remaining under the radar and slide up the employment ladder without much notice.
But an entire group of people, all of whom are basically assigned to complete one main task, all seriously inept and void of competency?
That's still a tough pill to swallow.
And yet, here we are.
And there they are, for all we know fully preparing to go on yet another year-ending Holiday vacation.
All while the rest of the world continues to dangle ever so dangerously on the edge of a colossal cliff.
An absurdly high, rock filled, moss covered, straight up slope of scary proportions.
Teetering on the edge of a cliff the likes of which the world has never seen.
And there they are, acting all like whatever, no biggie.
C'est la vie, it is what it is.
Let the world crash, we'll still have our jobs in one form or another.
Different cubicle but nevertheless still employed.
At least it seems that way anyway.
Sure, we continue to hear lots of rumors of them supposedly being in a hurry, working feverishly to bring this thing to closure prior to a global crash, but to be honest, I'm not seeing a whole lot of evidence to back it up.
Yes, there have been a few banking infrastructure changes over the past couple years.
I'll give 'em that.
A few altercations... oops, I mean alterations in trade agreements with other countries.
But nothing concrete.
Nothing that says beyond a doubt this "change" or that "action" is directly connected to the completion of the GCR process, leading to what we all want, the actual release of the asset-backed USN.
And honestly, at this point, that's pretty much all I'm looking for.
That's where my focus is these days.
On the release.
The "GO" signal.
Something that tells (as well as shows) me that once and for all we've finally gone asset-backed and we've made the change.
That's when I'll begin to get excited.
When I know my appointment at the Exchange Center is only a few short days away.
Until that day comes, I'm going to continue to hope they send out more than a few pink slips.
A bunch of "Enjoy your weekend... don't bother coming back on Monday!" emails being sent out.
Followed by a flood of job opening listings flooding all the internet sites leading to a long line of possible replacement recruits.
It's time to face facts.
The folks responsible for getting this GCR done ain't gettin' it done.
Because despite all the rumors of it being done, it ain't done.
Otherwise we'd be done reading the rumors and instead we'd be off making the world a better place for all involved.
So let's continue to hang in there folks.
You never know, perhaps this message will help light a fire under whomever's butt needs a nudge.
Even better, maybe it will send a message to the Head of Butt Nudging and he or she will send a mass email to all concerned.
Either way, I feel better knowing I did my fair share to shed a bit of light on a glaringly obvious problem.
And while I'm at it, I'd be remiss if I didn't send a quick shout out to my Brother in Law for making the most of his quarantine lockdown time by graduating in the top 99.8% of his class and receiving his (printable) online IT degree from ITT University.
It's amazing what can be achieved over a years time, putting in 4 short hours per week combined with 12 easy payments of $49.99 per month.
Hmmm... come to think of it, let's hope that if by some strange set of circumstances an opportunity does open up in the GCR release crew, that they keep my Brother in Law in mind.
Despite his more than likely being extremely overqualified for the position, I'm fairly certain he would entertain the offer and indeed consider it an honor to even be considered for such an important mission.
Anyway, please continue to hang in there folks.
This ride's about to get a little crazy and we don't wanna be blindsided by the insanity.
Kindly,
Dr. Dinar
Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, nor am I an ITT University recruiter. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.
"Enough Talk...Let's See Some Action!" by Dr. Dinar
.Thank you Dr. Dinar!!!
Enough Talk... Let's See Some Action! by Dr. Dinar
I don't know about you but I'm pretty much done.
To the point where I'm done hearing it's done.
As in everything's done.
Done... duh duh duh DONE!
Like, really done.
Done to the point where there's nothing left to do.
Nothing left to do because it truly is done.
Thank you Dr. Dinar!!!
Enough Talk... Let's See Some Action! by Dr. Dinar
I don't know about you but I'm pretty much done.
To the point where I'm done hearing it's done.
As in everything's done.
Done... duh duh duh DONE!
Like, really done.
Done to the point where there's nothing left to do.
Nothing left to do because it truly is done.
That's definitely closer to my definition of the word done.
Admittedly, I like everything I eat to be well done.
Even to the point of refusing to eat Sushi unless it's well done.
So, perhaps I'm a bit more demanding when it comes to the true definition of the word done.
Nevertheless, it shouldn't be all that difficult to determine the difference between done and close to done but not actually done, therefore it's not done.
First place to start might be with the persistent rumors continually permeating all throughout Dinarland.
Rumors of everything being done.
How long have we been hearing that.
Seems to me, according to my Dinarland calendar, it's been done for at least the last two years.
And yet, here we are.
Not done.
Would we be hearing all these rumors if indeed everything truly were done?
Not likely.
On second thought, we might still be drowning in rumors but chances are they'd have a more post-process, after the GCR kind of feel to them as opposed to the same ol' this is our week or it's gonna pop this Saturday night or we're only expecting to do one more call, our Celebration call kinda rumors.
So please, don't get me wrong.
I'm not expecting Dinarland to go completely rumorless overnight.
i mean, let's not get crazy here.
But wouldn't it be nice to hear a different batch of rumors for a change.
An extremely welcome change to say the least.
Well, I for one would certainly love it anyway.
Even better yet, I'd enjoy seeing that it's done based solely on the number of zero's in my bank account.
That's the kind of proof I'd enjoy seeing.
As it is now I'm still unable to make a trip through the In-N-Out drive thru and order a Double Double with grilled onions, well done, and have any means of paying for it when it's done cookin', all wrapped up and ready for release.
Until that day comes, it's still not done.
And while I'm on the subject of phrases I can hardly wait to never hear again, let's start with it CAN happen today.
Sheesh, give it a rest.
As far as I'm concerned it could've happened any day over the past one thousand days.
Yes, I'm more than aware that they needed to reinvent the current banking system to accept the GCR formula as well as numerous other changes required to release the GCR.
But you get my drift.
Enough with the talk.
I'm ready for some action.
I want to know it WILL happen!
As in today.
Or any other day ending in "y".
Even better yet, I'd love to hear that IT HAS HAPPENED!
As in past tense, check your emails, make your appointment, grab your "To Go" bag and get to the Exchange Center ASAP!
Is that too much to ask.
Just a factual confirmation of completion, in whatever form it comes.
Be it an email, a barrage of posts all throughout Dinarland or a Piper Cub draggin' a giant banner across the sky with a 1-800-CALLNOW number plastered on it.
At this point, I'm not about to be picky.
I'm open to most any form of communication.
Make it a fortune cookie.
Why not a clever saying on a Starbucks cup.
Heck, at this point I'll settle for a homing pigeon with a Post-it note taped to its leg.
What I'm trying to say is I'm flexible.
Whatever it takes, just send me a for real signal of this thing having reached the end of the line.
Of actually reaching a conclusion.
Actually being concluded.
As in DONE.
Talk is cheap.
No more rumors.
We don't need any more stinkin' rumors, regardless of whose super secret source supplies 'em.
We need action.
Action, leading to results.
Results resulting in our receiving our exchange instructions.
I've pretty much had enough of the boy crying wolf.
To the point where I'm ready to sic the wolf on him and let him eat, just to get the kid to shut up.
As I mentioned earlier, enough already.
We've lived through the rumor stage of this adventure for far too long.
It's time to begin the action phase.
As we've always been told, actions speak louder than rumors.
And after all, isn't that exactly what a rumor is.
A bunch of words lined up in the form of a sentence, completely void of all action.
In other words, just words.
And words don't pay the bills.
So to whomever it may be that's supposedly working feverishly on completing the GCR, forever claiming we're close, please feel free to call it "close enough" and dispatch the "GO" email ASAP!
And to those out there rumored to still be throwin' wrenches, please feel free to close the lid on your toolboxes and call it a day.
You have to know when enough is enough.
And let's face it, enough is enough.
We all know this GCR thing is going to happen eventually, the rest of the world has committed to it.
Why not do the right thing by all involved and go ahead and release it.
Then we can all move on to something much more interesting.
Like life beyond Dinarland.
Hang in there folks.
According to the latest rumors, we're right on top of this thing and it has to happen soon.
If not, the entire global economy will crash.
And supposedly they don't want that to happen.
Or do they.
Who knows what they want.
Who even knows who "they" are.
Chances are they don't even know who they are, nor what they want.
Maybe that's why they can't seem to get anything accomplished.
They have no idea what it is they're supposed to be doing.
This thing is so compartmentalized that they forgot to create the "GO Signal" Department.
At this point, anything's possible.
Anyway, don't let the rumors get you down.
Just do your best to hang in there, no matter what it takes.
Kindly,
Dr. Dinar
Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, a Federale of the Spanish Mounted Police, nor am I in search of the treasure of the Sierra Madre. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.